杂文：李鬼的木头板斧给我的启发（中英双语）

　




When I was rowing canoe in the gym today,  I suddenly heard some strange sounds behind me.
  What the heck was that? I wondered. There were not many people in the gym this afternoon,  probably around 20 or so scattering here and there making efforts  to lose weight or gain muscle.  I would say that this is an up-to-date gym with the latest workout equipment in the country.  You can see that  treadmills, bikes, weight-lifting equipment, stair climbers, dumbbells, dumb pots, and  so on,  are reasonably placed  in this huge gym with  running tracks around it. But picture taking is not allowed, otherwise I can show you  what I am talking about. Isn't there a saying says that a picture worth a thousand words?  What a shame!

So hearing the wounded-animal-like noise, curious, I turned around. I saw that guy.  He was a well-built young fellow, and now he was  lifting  a barbell and probably the bell was too heavy  for him. His face was twisted in pain caused by  the weight  that he almost couldn't stand.  Seeing all this I couldn't help laughing, of course, sneakily.  It seems that heavy-ass weight is not for everybody?  At least, not for me. Not now.
  Usually in the gym you can see quite a few strong people who  are wearing the fashionable  Mohawk haircut, nose piercings and tattoos on their arms, doing weightlifting in the platform.  When they lift the weight,  muscles and veins on their arms and chests  dance elegantly. Not an illusion, not at all.  A double take is what they make you want to do, seriously.  
     
  The dumbbells they are lifting? 50 pounds!

Now what I am thinking is that, one day I will make a pair of dumbbells with paper the same size of those that weigh 80 pounds, and put on the same colors that you can't tell  they are fake, then I will sneakily bring them into the gym without being seen by the staff. I will lift them like nothing and wait to see how those strong-built people will react on seeing me like this.

Now I think that李鬼's axes were made of wood. So why can't I have a pair of dumbbells made of paper?

今天在Gym在我划艇的时候突然听见身后奇怪的声音。

Gym里的人不算多， 大概十几二十个。这是一个与时俱进的Gym，设备应有尽有：跑步机，自行车，举重设备，楼梯机，哑铃，哑壶，等等各种各样。 可惜不让拍照。


我回头望见那发出怪声的家伙，是一个很肥壮的小伙子，他正在举重，脸部肌肉因为用力而扭曲。好像快挺不住的样子，发出如受伤动物的怪声。真是让人忍不住偷笑。


举重区域也是举哑铃的地方，经常我看到不少大力士在那里举哑铃，一些剪着Mohawk 头，戴鼻环，手臂和胸部都是刺青。大力士们的臂肌和胸肌都是一条条，一块块的， 随着他们举重动作优雅地跳舞。 跳舞，对的，不是幻觉，让人不禁多看一眼。 一看那哑铃，瓦！50磅！

我在想，下次我用纸做两个80磅尺码的哑铃，涂上相同的颜色，以假乱真， 偷偷拿进去，然后若无其事的举，看看那些大力士们的反应。李鬼的斧头是木头做的，那么我的哑铃为何不能是纸做的呢？




August 6, 2016