90年代马里兰州中餐馆打工故事：这是我打的第一家中国餐馆。老板是老移民，应该也是广东人，在巴尔的摩市内和远郊陶森市至少有两家餐馆，相当有钱了。我首次来算是试工，没有工钱，学着收拾桌子什么的。从早上干到下午一两点，差不多没顾客了，餐馆员工们自己开始享用午餐。午餐主食为米饭，菜肴是一块不到半个巴掌大的咸鱼，不是一人一块鱼，而是六七个人分享这半掌鱼，围在一起你一筷子我一筷子。老板的勤俭致富给大家留下了深刻印象。

Stories of working in Chinese restaurants in Maryland in the 1990s. This was the first Chinese restaurant I worked at. The boss or owner of the restaurant was an old immigrant, probably from Cantonese. He has at least two restaurants in Baltimore's downtown and in the nearby city of Towson, and he is quite wealthy. I came here for the first time as an unpaid intern, learning to clean tables and so on. Worked from morning until 1 to 2 p.m., when almost all customers were gone and the restaurant staff started to enjoy lunch by themselves. The staple food for lunch is rice, and the dish is a piece of salted fish less than half the size of a palm. Instead of one piece of fish for each person, the half-palm fish is for six or seven people to share using chopsticks. Everyone was deeply impressed by the boss's diligence and frugality in wealth accumulation.

这是一个感人的真实故事：一对华人夫妻移民加拿大，人到中年，没有北美经验，找专业工作十分不易，夫妻无奈暂时分离：妻子留守加拿大照顾一双年幼儿女，丈夫只身回国发展，以图养家糊口。不久飞来横祸，丈夫在中国突发心脏病去世，一夜间妻子变为寡妇，儿女失去父亲。妻子遭此巨变，很有些受不了，怀念丈夫锥心刺骨，精神几乎失常。她常常于夜深人静，儿女入睡后，一个人来到丈夫所葬墓园，徘徊游荡......

This is a touching true story: a Chinese couple immigrated to Canada. They were middle-aged and had no experience in North America, so it was very difficult to find professional jobs. The couple had no choice but to temporarily separate: the wife stayed in Canada to take care of a pair of young children, while the husband returned to China alone to earn a living for the family. Soon after tragedy struck, the husband suddenly died of a heart attack in China, leaving the wife a widow and their children without a father overnight. The wife couldn't bear this sudden change and was deeply saddened, missing her husband terribly, and almost losing her mind. Often, in the quiet of the night, after the children had fallen asleep, she would come to the cemetery where her husband was buried and wander around.

妻柔中有刚，时不常扮演铿锵玫瑰，有金句：“我宁愿弄改锥，也不要拿针线。”说到做到，她几乎从来不碰针线，改锥倒是常捣鼓。妥妥的能工巧妇一枚，让我省时省事又汗颜。牝鸡司晨，家庭兴旺。

Wife soft but strong, from time to time to play an Amazon rose, and here are her golden words: "I would rather operate a screwdriver than a needle." She lives up to her words and hardly ever touches needles and thread, but does use screwdrivers a lot, a true handywoman saving me labor and time but bringing me shame. The hen heralds the dawn, bringing fortune to the household.

听到有人称赞或奉承妻，总是让我愉快，这次的美言为：“你脾气好，人美心善。”

It is always pleasant for me to hear someone praise or flatter my wife, this time the kind words were: "You have a good temper, and you are beautiful and kind."

我们这里是安省南部。最好的住家建筑商几乎都是意大利人，他们在1980到2010这30年间建了不少好房子，比如有一条著名的地方街道，道路两旁的房子不论大小，没有两栋是同样乃至相似的，从外观到内部都各具特色，颇为赏心悦目。但由于市城府规划失误，这条街道渐渐演变为一条主路，往来车辆的密度越来越大，造成了严重的空气和噪音污染。我们前几年差一点就在这条街道买房 — 非常喜欢那栋房子，后来考虑到环境污染问题而忍痛放弃。如今看来这决定是正确的。再好的房子，也不能买在污染重灾区，宁肯住得差些，也不能住得"脏“。

大约在2010后，阿拉伯建筑商迅速崛起，他们急功近利，开始大量建造我称之为的”暴发户房“：地小房子大，建筑材料低质，内部装修追求酒店效果，比如过多运用光亮的瓷砖，造成肤浅的光鲜亮丽。再比如车库，房子老大，但车库空间被大大压缩，左右留出的余地极窄，车子进去只能打开一半门。但以新移民为主体的房主们不在乎这些，他们只要表面的高大敞亮。这些暴发户房建造得千遍一律，严重缺乏风格特色和美感，看了一栋等于看了一百栋，看得人十分倒胃口。说到审美，古罗马的后代意大利人还真是没比，比沙漠来的阿拉伯人岂止高了一个数量级。中国建筑商和阿拉伯同行应该是半斤八两。

We are in southern Ontario. The best home builders are almost all Italians. They built some great houses in the 30 years between 1980 and 2010. For example, there is a famous local street where no two houses on either side of the road are the same or even similar, regardless of their size, and each has its own character from the outside to the inside, which is quite pleasing to the eye. However, due to poor planning by the city government, this street has gradually become a main road with increasing traffic, causing serious air and noise pollution. We almost bought a house on this street a few years ago - we liked that house very much, but we ultimately and reluctantly gave it up because of environmental pollution concerns. It now appears that it was the right decision. No matter how good a house is, it's not worth buying in a heavily polluted area. It's better to live in a less desirable place than to live in a "dirty" one.

Arab home builders rose to prominence around 2010. They were eager to make quick profits and began building numerous houses of what I call "nouveau riche homes": small plots of land with large houses made of low-quality building materials and interior decorations that imitate hotel decors, such as excessive use of shiny tiles, creating a superficial and flashy appearance. Another example is the garage. The house is big, but the garage space is compressed, leaving the left and right with narrow margins, so cars can only open their doors halfway. However, the new immigrants who are the primary buyers of these homes do not care about these issues; they only care about the appearance of being grand and spacious. These "nouveau riche homes" are built in the same generic style, lacking any particular style or aesthetic appeal, and one can become easily nauseated after seeing one after another. When it comes to aesthetic taste, the descendants of ancient Rome, the Italians, are far superior to the Arabs, who come from the desert. Chinese builders and their Arab counterparts are equally mediocre in this regard.

和妻一起看一部恐龙电影，谈到用现代科技复活恐龙的可能性。我激动地说：“我们要是能够看到复活恐龙和剑齿虎等，该有多好呀！”妻淡淡回复：“咬你！”我大笑。

My wife and I were watching a dinosaur movie together, and we talked about the possibility of reviving dinosaurs with modern technology. I said excitedly, "How great it would be if we could see resurrected dinosaurs and saber-toothed tigers, etc.!" My wife replied lightly, "Bite you!" I laughed out loud.

多年前，一次妻子送女儿徒步去几哩外的小学，沿途并没有招手要求搭顺风车。途中有个男人停车在她们身旁，表示愿意载她们一程，没多想，妻子带着女儿上了车——极端危险的行为！车上妻子发现那男人的眼神不老实，警惕性被唤醒。总算安全到了学校，妻子谢过那男人再道声再见。不想送女儿进入学校后，透过门窗，她看到那男人竟还在停车场等她，这也太热心肠了吧。不再冒险，坚决不出去，一直等到那男人悻悻然离开，才独自徒步回家。谢天谢地，有惊无险，下不为例！

我这辈子，还是挺幸运的，一桩大好事摊上了，另一桩大好事看来也是：前者是找到了一位难得的好妻子；后者是两人都无意分手，就此从一而终。不知道前世我修了什么福。

地域情结低俗且无聊，这点我算是彻底免俗了，每当看到有人痛斥北京上海，非但丝毫不反感，常常还觉得挺解气：好样的，帮我骂了！

小视频席卷流行，五花八门万花筒般，让既爱学习又喜猎奇的我如鱼得水，上天入地什么都看，从严肃到轻松，从深奥到浅显。猜猜我最喜欢看什么？——是笑话！最享受那些看一次笑一次，百看不厌的的场景。到底不愧O型血。