#1 [短篇小说] Count Your Pees
Count Your Pees
李婶到美国来看在美国读书的女儿，住在女儿的房子里。女儿租住一间房，另外还有两间租给另外两个女孩，一个也是学生，另一个是个剃头的。
Aunt Li came to the States to visit her daughter who was studying there and stayed at the house the daughter rented a room. There were two other girls, one also a student and the other a hairdresser.
李婶在国内是个退休工人，曾经当过劳模。虽然这都是多少年前的事情了，李婶的思想境界还是那么高。
Aunt Li was a retired worker from a factory. She was once a role model worker. This of course, happened decades ago yet she had kept her noble ideology of her young days.
李婶到了美国以后，观察女儿的生活，马上发现了一个大问题：生活开支偏高。
After she came to the States and observed the daily life of her daughter, she found a big problem: living expenditure was too high.
一天晚上，李婶把三个女孩叫到一起，开了一个全体会议。会上，李婶说：“我发现你们用水太浪费了。洗碗洗菜从来不用盆，都是让水龙头开着，liu4还挺大的。最浪费水的，还要数那个冲水马桶。解大手冲是应该的，可是小手也冲。你一泡尿，哗，一桶水冲下去了。我一泡尿，哗，又一桶水冲下去了。你们不是都付水费吗，怎么不想着节约一点？毛主席教导我们说浪费是最大的犯罪。
One evening, she summoned all the three girls to hold a plenary conference. At the conference she delivered a speech, interpreted by her daughter whose English was not so good because she was not an English major but an accounting major: I found the way you use water is too wasteful. You never use a basin when washing dishes and vegetables, but the most wasteful is the toilet. When you liberate your big hand, of course you need to flush, but when you liberate your small hand, you also flush, which is too wasteful. One pool of pee, one flush, one pool of pee one flush. Aren't you all paying for the water? Why don't you try to be more economical? Our late Chairman Mao taught us: being wasteful is the biggest crime.
怎么节约呢？剃头女问。
But how, asked the hair dresser.
这还不好办？解小手不要每解必冲，你们三个人，三泡一冲不是很好吗？不过我建议你们还是五泡一冲。你们就在厕所墙上订张纸，撒泡尿，写一笔，等写好一个“正”字，就冲一次。
Isn't that easy! You do not have to flush every time you liberate your small hand. You are three here. Why not one flush per three pees? But I suggest more, one per five. You put a piece of paper on the wall, make one stroke for one pee and after you finish writing the Chinese character for correctness, you flush.
当然，李婶的话都是女儿翻译的。女儿不是英语专业的，来这里是学会计的，只能用二把刀英语翻译：literating the big hand, liberating the small hand, a pool of pee, the character of "correctness". 不过连说带比划，那两个房友倒也听懂了。
The two other girls understood with the help of Aunt Li's daughter's interpretation with gestures.
可是我们不会写中国字，剃头女抗议说。
But we do not know how to write Chinese, protested the hair dresser.
那好办，李婶说，我教你。 世上无难事，只怕有心人。我就不信你学不会。
Easy, said Aunt Li, I will teach you. There is nothing difficult in the world as long as you have the heart to do it. I simply do not believe you are unable to learn.
在李婶的教导下，那两个房友都学会写“正”了。于是她们就开始执行该房子第一届全会决议：数撒尿工程。果然，她们的水费降低了不少。
Under the guidance of Aunt Li, the other two girls learned how to write the Chinese word for correctness. They implemented the resolution of their first plenary meeting: counting the pees. As it turned out, their water bill went down significantly.
有一天，李婶的女儿拿回来一份人民日表。剃头女看见头版头条有大幅照片，是开大会的，甚是庄严隆重。照片下头有些字， 其中就有一个“正确”。剃头女说：他们也统计撒尿的次数吗？
One day, Aunt Li's daughter brought back a People's Daily. On the front page there was a picture of a conference or something like that, very impressive. Beneath the picture there are many Chinese words and the hair dresser discerned the word for correctness.
Do they also count their pees? she asked.
李婶说，彼正非此正。他们用不着数撒尿。人家有的是钱，哪像你们美国！
No, replied Aunt Li. That correctness is not your correctness. They do not need to count their pees. They have tons of money, unlike you America!
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