Metropolitan Impression

Identity is losing its myself
In the symmetry;
Eye’s reduced to  
Its cosmetic function.

Mood goes mildew
Behind the armored door;  
Synesthesia reaches its high yellow
In nondenotative syllables.

As night zephyr soughs through
Accidental;
The shadows of the skyscraper
Turn on heels, jostling each other.

Outside the window
Taillights flash a nameless ache
Inside, dampened past is complaining
The days devoid of sunshine

Village, do you still stand?
Memoryless metro draws a question mark...

-------
By nondenotative (meaningless) syllables I imply the daily routines in the big city are innocuous.


都市在对称里
摸摸索索
眼睛在
堕落

情绪在全副武装的门后
发霉发酵
串感在无意义的音节中
找到了黄色的音高

夜风象偶然
临街而过
摩天大厦的影子
争先恐后逃跑

楼下，鱼贯而过的尾灯
象隐隐的疼痛闪烁
窗口，潮湿的过去
探头探脑

乡村, 还在吗？
没有记忆的都市打起问号 。。。


--------------------

Inside my car while waiting for my daughter to finish her tennis class, I scratched this poem on a napkin, and revised later a few times of course.

It is all about a mood, a dark mood. I was afraid I have lost my individuality for I'm always trying too much to blend in.

好象不错。大诗人来给评评？

感觉英语版比中文版更好。

Thanks for reading.

English version is original, and Chinese version is a loose translation.

Thank you for reading.

最后结尾挺好。

“Identity is losing its myself
In the symmetry;
Eye’s reduced to  
Its cosmetic function.
都市在对称里
摸摸索索
眼睛在
堕落“
这里“lose identity 和 Eye’s reduced to  Its cosmetic function”的意思没有翻译出来。“漠糊”是不是比摸摸索索"更好？
"堕落" 没把空洞眼神的意思传达出来

都市在对称里
漠糊
眼睛只剩下
空洞的型。
“As night zephyr soughs through
Accidental;
The shadows of the skyscraper
Turn on heels, jostling each other.
夜风象偶然
临街而过
摩天大厦的影子
争先恐后逃跑”“

争先恐后逃跑”没把尖尖的“heels” 和相互“josting”的力度和粗暴表现出来。



“Inside, dampened past is complaining
The days devoid of sunshine

窗口，潮湿的过去
探头探脑”无法读出“complaining” 和 “devoid of sunshine”

窗内，湿漉漉地
在唠叨
阴霉的往事.


“Village, do you still stand?
Memoryless metro scribbles a question mark...”

没有记忆的都市打起问号， “打起”换成“草草划了个”会不会更接近“scribbles”？

对不起，瞎说一通， 只是好玩！

谢堂主。

草叶MM，谢谢阅读。

那你给俺翻翻咋样？

俺翻的时候，第一是老找不到好词，第二是我重在不同诗里的表达，不在乎是不是精确。

最后一句你提醒了我。我把原诗里的 "Scribbles" 换成 “draws”, and I feel it will be better. Thank you very much 草叶MM for this.

大诗人也觉得英文的更好。无措感强烈。挺好。中文的读来有点乱。

谢谢大诗人。