A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.
Paddy ordered a whisky.
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"
Paddy handed his drink back and said
"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"
2
Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
The operator asks, “How many people are flying with you?”
Paddy replies “I don’t know! Its your bloody plane!”
3
Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.
After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says, "I wonder how the girls are getting on".
4
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off. I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"
He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts, "I'M A LIGHT BULB! I'M A LIGHT BULB!"
Murphy watches in amazement!
The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home"
So he leaves the site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
"Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.
"I can't work in the dark!" says Murphy.
5
Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says
"You know what I want, don't you?"
"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole bed by the looks of it!"
6
Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U.S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair.
He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!
7
Paddy had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ...and nearly drowned!
Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother.
'Grandma,' he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said, "Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in August, ya dip stick.作者: xyy 时间: 2011-12-15 16:46 Creation 造人
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful？"
一名男子問上帝：「您為什麼把女人造得這麼漂亮？」
God says: "So you would love her."
上帝回答：「這樣你才會愛她。」
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb？"
男子又問：「可是您為何把她弄得這麼笨？」
God says: "So she would love you."
上帝回答：「這樣她才會愛上你。」
