标题: Net [打印本页]
作者: 舞曼西楼 时间: 2007-3-14 23:57 标题: Net
Net
Enveloped with scars
The impermeable net of mine
When I stare into the distance
My fingers comb the winter
As waves slip through time
For saving a few shining shells
I salvage all my life
But I lost the rhythm-breath
Of the ocean tide
Even I bend my devout knee
To worship
I yet can’t keep the wings
From flight
Every perfect knot is a cross on the net
Followed with another one
Extremely tight
I give up un-knotting
With my tiring hands
As the fish have been caught
On a foreign land
Before the windy season arrives
The lighthouse marks
My last defense
And the surge has walked
Out of the sunset
Slowly I close
My widely opened eyes
From the net’s first opening
I come into the ocean of your heart
And deeply, deeply hide
作者: 文取心 时间: 2007-3-15 00:41
英文比中文版好。
作者: 舞曼西楼 时间: 2007-3-15 01:24
谢谢文取心君！我没有完全直译，而是把自己写此诗的原意放了进去，便于理解。也许要根据英文版再回去改中文版了：）
作者: 三川 时间: 2007-3-15 06:39
这个我同意。翻译时，要考虑诗歌的风格，稍微偏离原作是必要的，特别是翻译自己的诗作，知道想要什么意境。
咱也有中英对照的诗，大胆翻译一下，保持搞笑的效果，而不是直译。虽然受到批判，咱也觉得是成功！！！
Originally posted by 舞曼西楼 at 2007-3-15 06:24 AM:
我没有完全直译，而是把自己写此诗的原意放了进去，便于理解。也许要根据英文版再回去改中文版了：）
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