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标题: [原创]鲁静轩诗选译 [打印本页]

作者: fanghuzhai     时间: 2017-7-20 18:34     标题: [原创]鲁静轩诗选译

给我上过课的老师许渊冲认为,汉诗英译要追求三美,意美,音美,形美。我不敢说是其弟子,因为毕竟没有跟他专门学翻译,但是对诗歌翻译,也小有兴趣,并且力图尽可能地实践这三美原则。不久前,在网上邂逅一位诗人兼画家,比三美还多一美。其画清新,其诗典雅,其声悦耳,其容端庄。每日工作之外,无论日月星辰,风花雪月,大啖小饮,轻描淡画,皆有诗焉。从其网页,似见王炎之才,更有易安之韵。遂择其诗作若干翻译,以助自己玩味理解。

淡淡清秋天, 遥遥江水宽,寻帆不现影,只见远青山。

Dàndàn qīng qiūtiān,
yáoyáo jiāngshuǐ kuān,
xún fān bù xiàn yǐng,
zhǐ jiàn yuǎn qīngshān.

A Weekend Sketch

On a plain clear autumn day
Wide is the river far away
I search a sail but see none
In the distance green hills lay

柳岸有闲翁,泛舟寻雁声,醉心不在酒,独揽一江风。

Liǔ àn yǒu xián wēng,
fàn zhōu xún yàn shēng,
zuì xīn bù zài jiǔ,
dú lǎn yī jiāng fēng.

An Idle Senior

On the willowed bank an idle old man is seen
He boards a boat and listens to the geese
Intoxicated but not by any wine he had drunk
He singularly embraces the river breeze

The Return of the Native Swallows

烟花三月雨深深,
碧水青山一树春,
飞燕双双寻故里,
相栖相伴难离分。

In the foggy March there falls the profuse rain
Hills and rivers share the green spring of trees
A couple of swallows return to their old domain
United, their separation one hardly sees

一江春水弯弯,
两岸橙黄绿蓝,
桃源农家几户,
日夜耕守田边。

Winding is the spring river
Multicolored are its banks
Several families of farmers
Daily tender the Utopian lands

闲隐水云天,风清身自安。心高不惧远,轻越万重山。

In leisure I savor rivers, clouds and heaven
Enjoying the peace, breathing clean breeze
My yearnings are lofty, I fear no long journey
Easily I fly over many a mountain


斜听远水声,坐享万山风。举目云天外,身闲心自清。

A slanting river sends from afar its sound
Winds of mountains bring me pleasure
My eyes turn to the clouds and beyond
An idle person, I have a heart as crystal clear

幽谷山深处,烟村三四家,秋来林染色,冬去放春花。

In the depth of a secluded valley
Three or four houses in mist shelter
Autumn brings hues to the woods
Spring blossoms come after winter

雨染发丝一夜梦,醒来霜降烟云天。
难寻他日秋阳暖,薄袖罗衫难抵寒。

My hair dyed in the rain, my night spent in dreams
Waking up, I saw frost descending from misty sky
Where is the warm sunshine of the days of autumn?
The thin sleeves of my silky shirt coldness don’t defy

忆江南 秋风破

秋风破,霜降雨寒凉,枝撒落花铺满地,
树摇残叶挂一墙,怎不念暖阳?

Piercing autumn wind
Rain and frost bring the cold
Fallen petals cover the ground
Leaves thin, trees cast shadows on the wall
How do I not miss the warm sun?


相见欢·卷帘西风

西风漫卷帘栊,月迷蒙,线雨系珠串串打梧桐。

声声慢,声声断,曲难成,更助离愁别绪一层层。

The wind from the west rolls up the curtains
Revealing a misty moon
Like stringed beads , rain beats on the leaves of Wutong
With slow and staccato sounds, like a broken tune
Doubling the sorrows of friends parting soon  

忆江南·清秋夜

清秋夜,空院锁寒凉,风落残花闻不见,雨湿红叶挂东墙,梦醒在西窗。

A clear autumn night
A yard deserted had the cold locked
Soundless, wind pulled withered petals down
And rain wetted red leaves that on east wall hung
At the west window, the awakened dream docked

忆江南·西风骤

西风骤,
卷打树梢头,斜送窗前残叶雨,引来心底落花愁,瑟瑟几时休?

Sudden west wind
Blows hard at the top of trees
Slanting the rain at the window on leaves decayed
Inviting the heartfelt sorrows over flowers flayed
Gust after gust, will it cease?


薄雾浓云追乱风,潇潇瘦雨坠墙东,一寒秋水洗明地,残叶小楼印画中

Thin mists and thick clouds race in wind wild
East of the wall falls the slender rains in haste
Cold autumn water washes clean the patio tiles
Upon canvas withered leaves and my house I paste  


诉衷情令·芦花

蒹葭一簇正苍苍,枝叶尽摇香,暖阳斜照清透,熠熠散金光。花似雪,傲寒霜,自孤芳。

剪风成曲,曼舞秋深,居水一方。

Luxuriant are the reeds by the water
That swaying fragrance scatter
The warm sun's slanting rays shine through
Flickering lights here and there
Blossoms white as snow
Do defy frost cold
And self-pride hold
Cutting wind a melody to compose
They dance in deep autumn grace
By the water margin, at this place

点绛唇·梦入秋

梦入秋浓,夜深更有薄风起,缠绵细雨,又促寒几许。

轻若抚琴,幽婉成眠曲,绕枕底,丝丝缕缕,默默如心语。

I dream, in the prime time of autumn
As night deepens, there starts a breeze
The silk-like rain
Adds to the coldness
Light as the strumming of strings
Playing a melodious lullaby
At the pillow side
Tune after tune
Speaking the voiceless words
Of the heart

莫道春来早,莫怨春来迟,唯有远方雁,知道归来时。

Say not that spring is early
Say not that spring is late
Only the geese from afar
Know the returning date

冬枝摇落池塘里,原本无心左右移,有意闲风拂面起,凭空招惹水中鱼。

Winter tree branches seem to have fallen into the pond
Originally they did not intend to move around
But wind came with some hidden intention
And provoked the fish for no reason

一轮斜日耀朱丹,红染残霞照半山,燕雀归巢知暮晚。翩翩仙鹤正飞天。

Sun above west horizon, red
Reddens the remaining clouds and lights up the partial hill
Swallows, knowing it's late, return home
High in the sky, a dancing crane is seen

一轮落日又偏西,红粉烟霞天上披,竹叶尽摇风影动,莺鸣燕唱晚空笛。

The setting sun is in the west sky again
Smoky clouds seem to be washed in red rain
Bamboo leaves shake their shadows in the wind
Warblers and swallows sing symphonic strain

小雨清晨又密织,滴滴成线细如丝。
十七八缕鱼塘去,偷看红莲酣睡姿。
A dense morning shower is here again
Little droplets form threads hair thin
To the fish pond go the whips of rain
To peep at the red lotus sleeping in

此时无月无星,亦无风。独有翩翩云影落深空。
山静寂,莲睡去,蝉息声。唯我兀自清醒无眠中。

No moon, no stars, no wind.
Only the shadows of clouds in the sky beyond.
Mountains quiet, lotus sleeping, cicadas silent.
Only I am awake in the sleepless moment.


紧滴答,慢滴答,
小雨深夜又出发,
步步踏莲花。
早披纱,晚披纱,
携云带雾绕千家,
谁惊梦里她?

Quick drip, slow drip
The drizzle at night started her trip
On lotus leaves her feet would dip
Morn in gauze, eve in gauze
Clouds and mists on houses pause
Who startled the beauty in repose ?

细雨淅淅终未停,
轻足碎踏绿浮萍,
只为静待莲花醒,
轻洒心中一片情。

the drips of drizzle never cease
their light feet set on green duckweeds
they wait for lotus flowers to wake from sleep
to gently tell them of their feelings deep

庭下品茶听细风,
望云浮西又浮东。
偶来小雨添诗意,
引线穿针绣朦胧。

I savor tea on the balcony,wind whispering at ear
And watch clouds drift east and west, then fade
The poeticness is enhanced by an occasional shower
Needles and threads make a misty brocade
  
远山深处雾藏松,
近树浅滩摇对空。
谁泊孤舟临水坐,
不钓游鱼钓江风。

Fog hides pine trees in mountains far away
Trees on the nearby shoal towards the sky sway
Who moored his boat and is sitting by the water
Fishing not the fish but the wind on the river?

连绵细雨洗天愁,
卷卷残云清泪流,
滴水成河铺满地,
化作明镜照高楼。

Continuous rain cleanse the sorrows of the heaven
Clear tears are shed by rolls of clouds broken
Drop after drop a river now covers the ground
A mirror that captures high rises in reflection

蝉虫夏夜乱弹筝,
近一声来远一声,
手把玉瓶接天露,
误收月光与山风。

In the summer night insects play a random tune
Once it sounds distinctly near, once distantly low
Holding a jade jar I caught the moon and the mountain wind
While I tried to catch instead the heavenly dew


假期又与山相逢,
点点繁星照夜晴,
明月相邀庭下坐,
清风携我穿林行。

On my holiday I meet mountains again
Stars light up the sky on this fine day
I invite the bright moon to sit in my yard
Through the woods, wind carries me on my way


庭前深夜享山风,
树摇枝叶隐繁星。
举杯独对回头月,
醺酒醉诗敬长空。

Mountain wind I enjoy on the patio,late at night
Trees, shaking their foliage, many stars hide
Cup in hand, I alone turn around to face the moon
Honoring the sky with a poem I drunkenly write

烟云频吐漫天纱,
水绕山围仙几家,
篱下春风关不住,
桃源处处落飞花。

Smoke-like clouds throw a vast net of gauze over the sky
In the river-side mountain fairy houses are seen thence
The wind of the spring can't be locked in by the bamboo fence
In the utopian-like hamlet everywhere petals fall from on high

原文打油诗未录

A white dog is outside the window
Its floating walk quite a show
A sudden wind brushed its shoulder
Alas, its tail disappeared, how so

蝉虫夏夜乱弹筝,
近一声来远一声,
手把玉瓶接天露,
误收月光与山风。

In the summer night insects play a random tune
Once it sounds distinctly near, once distantly low
Holding a jade jar I caught the moon and the mountain wind
While I tried to catch instead the heavenly dew


假期又与山相逢,
点点繁星照夜晴,
明月相邀庭下坐,
清风携我穿林行。

On my holiday I meet mountains again
Stars light up the sky on this fine day
I invite the bright moon to sit in my yard
Through the woods, wind carries me on my way


庭前深夜享山风,
树摇枝叶隐繁星。
举杯独对回头月,
醺酒醉诗敬长空。

Mountain wind I enjoy on the patio,late at night
Trees, shaking their foliage, many stars hide
Cup in hand, I alone turn around to face the moon
Honoring the sky with a poem I drunkenly write

玉树总能醉倒春,
暄风偏把众山熏。
世间万物复苏醒,
寒去暖来颜换新。(于静诗画)

Beautiful trees often makes spring enchanting
Warm breeze prefers mountains for touching
Lives of the world opened eyes from sleeping
Warmth renews things, gone is the cold biting

老方改

玉树常能醉倒春,
暄风偏把众山熏。
人间万物方苏醒,
寒去温来气象新。(于静诗画)


清灯一盏案前,夜无眠,空望那轮明月上屋檐。
东风破,西窗过,曲难弹。怎奈遥遥相对总无言。

On my desk, a lamp with plain light
A sleepless night
In vain I watch the the eaves-side moon bright
An ancient tune, passing west window, hard to produce
Always speechless, always helpless, we face each other from a distance

时光转眼入初秋,
朵朵槿花频落忧,
红粉娇颜已不再,
徒留浅紫染心头。

As time suddenly enters early autumn
Sorrow-laden hibiscus frequently fall
Their tender pinkish faces are no more
In vain do I their purple color recall

山水之间总有云,
亦真亦幻任留存,
化身霜雁追天去,
一叶孤舟千里魂。(静静画画)

Clouds always bind with waters and mountains.
Real or phantomic, I just let them be.
Turning into frosty geese they chase the sky
A lone boat, and a soul on a long journey

熏风铺绿满山埋,
万水千川跨云白。
两叶轻舟渔唱晚,
一行归雁踏春来。
(晚来继续画画)

Warm winds spread verdancy over the mountains
White clouds stride over countless rivers
At dusk fishing songs are heard from two light boats
While a line of geese return to their spring abodes.

Mountains are made green by warm breeze
White clouds stride over countless rivers
At dusk fishing songs are heard from two light boats
Towards their spring nests, a line of geese flies

秋叶一枝绿泛黄,
如今辞夏日添凉。
每逢细雨催颜瘦,
偏遇西风飘落忙。(静静画画)

Green leaves in autumn are tinted with color yellow
Summer gone, daytime temperature tends to be low
My face looks thinner every time there is a drizzle
Much less to say west winds fallen leaves sow

梦里几时飞雨来,
但见湿瓦润青苔。
晓风划破云天外,
一秋心绪总难排。

Since when, in my dream, rain came?
Moss on wet tile has been soaked through.
Morning wind pierced the clouds in the sky
In this autumn, my heart always feels blue

曾是漫天覆绿枝,
风过悄然梳瘦丝。
明明秋叶染霜色,
树上鸣蝉还不知。

Autumn Trees

Their green branches once covered the sky
Now the silent wind combs the foliage thin
Frost dips the leaves in the autumn dye
To the ignorance of cicadas that still cry


诗歌翻译的一些策略问题值得讨论。例如中国古诗里总有一些反复出现的固定词语,也叫troupe,或者干脆叫 cliche,但是对传达诗意不可或缺。例如, 小楼。这些词语怎么翻译,是否前人怎么翻就怎么翻。去查,大都翻译成 tower。今天的人写古体诗,也用这个词,指的可能就是自己两层小楼,也翻译成Tower吗?在美国,很多人家都是两层的,也是小楼,但是那诗意好像就没多少了。大家联想的都是房贷什么的。翻译成 storeyed building 不但啰嗦,也没有诗意。再有比如说一些文化物件,琴,翻译成stringed instrument,也很煞风景。我主张音译,琴就是琴,笙就是笙,例如美国的banjo,就翻译成班卓琴。中文的好处是,这个表示类概念的琴,本身这个字就很美,而英文的musical instrument 常常入诗吗?反正我没怎么见到。人家都适用具体的乐器名称,比如zither。
作者: 小草     时间: 2017-7-20 20:49
赏学老方好译!

A Idle Senior ---an idle?

In the foggy march there falls the profuse rain ----March?
作者: fanghuzhai     时间: 2017-7-20 22:45
Thanks. Xiao Cao.


http://s.ymk.im/w/gb-NW8u
作者: 小草     时间: 2017-7-22 01:34
You are welcome! )
作者: fanghuzhai     时间: 2017-8-19 19:17
顶针能否翻译,看情况

轻雨伴秋风,
秋风叶更红,
更红嫌绿少,
绿少几丝轻。

Light rain accompanies autumn wind
Autumn wind renders leaves redder
Redder leaves belittle those of green
Green leaves leave branches light

近水远山春未浓,
临江不见绿葱茏。
渔翁才钓寒冬雪,
一阵熏风花已红。(静静画画)

It's not high spring near on the
River or in the hills yonder
One sees not the verdancy
On the banks of the river
Earlier a fisherman was
Fishing in the snow of winter
But now flowers are turning red
After warm wind passed over
汉诗英译的拉长法。汉语言简意赅,装到英语这个新瓶子里就有点太挤。这时可以用加长法翻译:

近水远山春未浓,
临江不见绿葱茏。
渔翁才钓寒冬雪,
一阵熏风花已红。

It's not high spring near on the
River or in the hills yonder
One sees not the verdancy
On the banks of the river
Earlier a fisherman was
Fishing in the snow of winter
But now flowers are turning red
After warm wind passed over
词汇的风格对等是个问题。薰风就是暖风,但是既然有薰这个字,就有其风格。用warm来翻译,当然不够味道。但是不知道英语里有没有色彩上类似薰的词。这就是汉诗英译中的浅化问题。反过来,微信上曾经流传一首英诗的多体汉译,以彰显汉语言之美。这就是英诗汉译的深化问题。无论深化还是浅化,都触及到翻译的第一原则,信。仗就打开了。
作者: fanghuzhai     时间: 2017-8-24 14:31
西风一树染秋黄,
群雁南飞队几行。
望断天际无帆影,
徒留空谷满江凉。YJ

The west wind dyed the tree in autumn yellow
The south-bound geese fly in lines several
from here to the horizon is seen not a single sail
All left here is the river cold and an empty vale

遍野尽铺葱郁风,
几帆船影向江东。
我将翠玉碾成墨,
把那夏天染一通。(于静诗画)

Winds carpet the fields, turning them green
Some sail boats head east on the broad river
I grind jadeite to make a well of ink
To dye the landscape of the summer

茫茫白雪覆寒冬,
遍野难寻寸草生。
满目空山无一物,
唯留两树待春风。

Cold winter is dressed in a coat of snow
Not a single grass can be found in the wild
Empty mountains have nothing to show
Only two trees wait for spring wind mild

忆江南·晚云

烟云晚,
醉酒染妆红,
满面残容斜日里,
一怀情绪黄昏中,
落幕伴秋风。(YJ)

The smoky clouds at dusk
The rosy face of hangover
Fainting makeup in the setting sun
Emotional bosom at the evening hour
The curtain fell in autumn wind

一池冬水寒,
清冷插枝间。
瘦笔蘸凉墨,
冰心落纸端。(YJ)

Freezing is the winter pond water
The chill spreads among the trees
In cold ink I dip my brush slender
Painting my ice clear heart on paper

隔江遥对山,水上起云烟。
莫是风来早,一吹到秋天。

A mountain looms far across the river
Steamy clouds pile up above the water
Has the wind arrived earlier than before?
When it blows, autumn is suddenly here.

一江秋水一江天,
一片烟云一脉山。
一叶扁舟一队雁,
一棵孤树一平滩。
(继续画画)

The autumn river mirrors the face of the sky
The misty clouds blurs the mountain range high
A line of geese keeps a single boat in company
A solitary tree breaks the river bank's monotony

如果英文一定保留原诗的一字格局,或许可以这样翻:

A river of autumn water under a patch of sky
A patch of sky shrouded by a pile of clouds high
A leaf of boat in the company of a line of geese
A solitary tree on a river beach in peace.
作者: fanghuzhai     时间: 2017-9-10 23:20
方壶译话:有时翻译诗词,会有意想不到的效果。比如此词。结尾用英国英语念,正好押前边的red。

行香子·梦相逢
不念山青,不恋水清。
枕良晨,闻断鸟鸣。
无心望雁,懒看浮萍。
任菊花黄,荷花淡,莲花红。
天高云漫,唯与心同。
忆昨昔,往事重重。
一情一幕,如梦随行。
愿生相依,始相共,终相盟。YJ

I do not care for the mountains to be green
I do not miss the water that is clear and clean
A nice morning serves as my pillow
I listen to birds twittering until they go
I have no mood to watch flying geese
And no desire to observe floating weeds
Let chrysanthemum be yellow,
The lotus flower be pale and water lily be red
My heart sides with
The spreading clouds high
In the unfathomable sky
Recalling the past I see many scenes appear
As if in dreams, one after another
I wish we'd be together forever
Depend, pledge,share
From A to Z
作者: fanghuzhai     时间: 2017-10-2 16:28
蟋蟀声声偶有闻,
清风遍遍染山林。
层层绿叶红镶嵌,
秋色翩翩欲入门。

Crickets crack an occasional tune
Waves of winds give forests hue
Layers of leaves tinted like red ore
Color of fall dances at the door

一弯溪水绕山盘,
穿林越滩过门前。
带走光阴多少事,
凭追岁月付流年。

A winding brook circles the mountain
And crosses woods and over the shoal
Past my door it brings away much time
The events that happened, every and all
I see years flushed away in its stream
And often the fond memories recall

1
寒雨深,夜雨深,
枕醒群山雾锁晨,
藏天又隐林。
风打门,霜打门,
清露滴滴篱下存,
秋花挂泪痕。(YJ)

Cold rain, nightly rain, profuse rain
I wake up to a foggy morn, pillow being the mountain
The fog hides the woods and the heaven

Wind at my door, frost at my door, all at my door
Drop after drop, clear dew under the fence store
Tears hang from autumn flower, more and more

回译

冷雨夜雨雨淋淋
枕山醒来见雾晨
雾隐天色与山林。
风霜敲打皆在门
清露滴滴篱下存
秋花垂泪泪纷纷。

2
醉妆词·秋夜
探秋夜,望秋夜,
空上云遮月。
望秋夜,探秋夜,
风促黄花谢。(YJ)

In my mind, the autumn night
The autumn night In my sight
In the sky, the moon clouds hide

The autumn night In my sight
In my mind, the autumn night
Wind sets yellow flowers in flight

回译

秋夜在心亦在目
天上月亮藏云雾
秋夜在目亦在心
风令黄花去纷纷。

3
一阵秋风漫绕房,
轻挥两袖画秋忙,
三勾四笔将秋染,
五色六颜秋满墙。

A gust of autumn wind is busy around my mansion
Painting autumn with his gentle sleeves
Three or four strokes bring color to the season
The various colors spread up to the eaves

回译

一阵秋风屋外忙,两袖清风画秋装。
赋秋颜色三四笔,直上屋檐布满墙。

4
明月追风云里穿,
匆匆云度月亮边。
浮云邀月同游夜,
月伴闲云共步天。

Chasing the wind is seen through cloud a moon bright
The cloud catches up with the moon hurriedly
It invites the moon to make a tour of the night
The moon keeps the leisurely cloud company

回译

穿云追风月可见,匆匆云赶到月边。
邀月一同游此夜,月亮随行伴云闲。




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