When I was born the country was in peace When I grew up she was like broken cheese Chaos came down from an unkind heaven From the unkind earth came this ill fortune Spears and swords clang on the dangerous roads In sadness, refugees flock together like goats
In the dusty wilderness the Xiongnu captured a lot Bending the wills and virtues of those who were caught Their alien customs I was not fit to face When evilly insulted I couldn’t argue a case Now with this alien instrument I play a number Yet nobody knows of my sadness and anger
The fur coated forced me to be his bed mate And took me on a journey to his camp gate My home was thousands of mountains back Sandy winds blew hard on the no-ending track His tribe men were fierce like beasts.
Arrogant with armors and armed to teeth At this second stanza my strings are to break.
Disheartened I sigh at a prospect bleak
We left the Chinese land and entered the barbarian city How I wished to die now I had lost home and chastity My flesh shuddered at the bed cover of fur and hide I loathed the food’s animal smell spreading wide They beat their drums from evening to dawn Their camps were bleak in border wind strong In sorrow and sadness I finished stanza three When can I pacify the resentment buried in me?
I think of my home day and night.
I am the bitterest soul in sight
When disasters came, my country was lord-less Yet I alone was ill fated to become captured mistress Their alien customs are hard to accommodate No one to talk to and no food to my taste Looking back at my hardship and suffering This fourth stanza I am even sadder to sing
When geese flew south I wished to pass on my news When geese returned north I wished to hear Chinese muse The geese flew high and were lost to my sight The secrete yearnings set my heart into plight With eye brows knit, I pluck at the strings This fifth stanza embodies many meanings
Cold were the ice and frost chilled my body Hunger couldn’t force meat and cheese on me At night I heard the weeping river of hometown The Great Wall appeared distant at the dawn Thinking of the past, I found hard the journey This sad sixth stanza I can finish hardly
At dust the wind spreaded the sad bugle sound And my sadness I knew no one to pass around Deserted was the land and scorched was the country The feeble old despised to give the young glory Following grazing pastures they set up tents Their swarms of herd were like bees and ants.
When there’s no grass nor water to feed on They moved and my loathing of it is in this song
Had Heaven eyes why is he blind to my loneliness?
Were gods real why am I deserted to this remoteness?
Heaven I betrayed not why was I matched with an alien ?
Gods I defied not why was I sent to a land so barren?
I composed this eighth stanza to dispel my sorrow And my sorrow now doubles, which I could never know
Brimless is the sky and endless the earth, And deep in my heart so is my sadness.
Life’s time is what a horse takes to jump a gap Yet merriment is not marked on my youth’s map Resentful, I would like to go and Heaven ask But reaching Heaven is an impossible task I look up at the sky what I see is only foggy cloud The feelings in this ninth stanza to whom can I speak aloud?
The signal fire of the fortress never dies The field is forever fraught with battle cries The killing atmosphere shrouds what border town confines The alien land’s wind blows as the border moon shines My homeland is so far I hear nothing from there I cry in muted sound till my breath my sorrows tear In this tenth stanza my tears become blood sad My life’s trials come from the experience I had
Not that I fear death and crave for life,
My heart tells me not to forsake the strife.
While living I still hope to return home
If I die any place can be my tomb
Many suns and moons in the barbarian world
My two sons were begotten by the nomad lord
I nursed and taught them despite the shame
And pitied them for carrying a barbarian name
In stanza eleven I thus complain
My heart is slain with lingering pain
With music came the warm east breeze
In spring the Han emperor declared peace.
The minorities gathered to dance and sing
The end of war they came celebrating
The Han sent an emissary to this land
With much gold to ask for my hand
Happy was I to return alive during a sage’s reign
But sighed as it is hard to see my children again
I never imagined my remaining life could see a return home
Holding my children in my arms my tear smeared my robe
The emissary met me, his four stallions plump and restless
Bitterly wept my children, who were now left helpless
Life and death we shared up to this very hour of misery
When could I take you from darkness back to my nursery?
One step farther the other step hard to move
Their figures blurred, to whom I left my love
This thirteenth stanza is played fast and sad
None knows how it churns my guts like mad
I returned to my country leaving children behind
Like hunger hurts stomach, they’re oft in my mind
The four seasons bring changes in all the things
The never ending bitterness forever me stings
High mountains and vast earth separate you and me
Only in deep night you enter my dreams quietly
I’m both happy and sad holding your hands
When the dream departs my pain never ends
As I write this fourteenth stanza my tears rain down
My longing for my children is like a river long
The fifteenth stanza now plays a staccato sound
My chest heaves yet none sees the meaning profound
I lived in the barbarian tent and followed alien ways
I wished to return home and Heaven granted my prays
My heart feels content now I dwell on Chinese soil
Yet saudade turns my heart into that of toil
The impartial sun and moon do not favor my chamber
From the separation of flesh I constantly suffer
Our gap is that of two evading planets
And death won’t join us like pieces of magnets
My mind goes blank as I play this sixteenth stanza
My children and I are separated by a distance far
Like the sun and the moon facing each other in vain
I cannot join them, I feel like forever being slain
Facing fragrant grass I forget not my sorrows
Strumming my instrument the music hurts me like arrows
Now I’ve returned home but my children are left behind
Old grudges died only to see the birth of a new kind!
Crying blood I raise my head to appeal to Heaven
For WHAT do I have to suffer from this bad fortune?
At the seventeenth stanza I’m about to weep
My journey was made hard by mountains deep
When I was kidnapped it was my home I missed
When I was returned it was my children I kissed
On the barbarian land leaves and grass were dry
On the battle field the wounded bones met the eye
Spring and summer still cold with icy winds strong
Hunger weakened men and horses on a journey long
I never fancied to enter the Han’s capital
I sighed when I shed my tears on the citadel
This alien instrument came from the alien land
It sounds Chinese as I play it with my own hand
This eighteenth stanza puts an end to my song
The lingering music yet bespeaks my feelings strong
It's Creator's wonder that music has such subtleties
Sad tunes vary with individuals yet share similarities
The Xiongnu and Han are different lands with different ways
Like heaven and earth my sons and I are separated always
My resentment, my anger are beyond the bounds of the sky
The vast universe cannot hold them should it want to try!作者: Xiaoman 时间: 2015-8-28 22:43 镇坛鸿篇,气势如虹,席卷天下,并吞八荒。