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标题: 翻譯的最高層次 [打印本页]

作者: 海外逸士     时间: 2011-9-3 09:47     标题: 翻譯的最高層次

翻譯﹐由于材料難易的不同﹐當然可以分出層次。不管中譯英﹐還是英譯中。一個
外國人說句話﹐你翻譯給在座的中國人聽﹐這是最低層次的翻譯。而高層次的翻譯
就是文學詩歌的翻譯。因為這已經是公認的﹐文學詩歌是語言的最高表達層次。所
以文學詩歌的翻譯﹐是譯者在兩種語言最高層次間遊走﹐架設橋樑。本人在兩種語
言的互譯中作過嚐試﹐發現就是在文學詩歌這個範圍裡﹐還有難易層次的不同。要
達到難度的最高層次﹐必須對自己立下極嚴格的規定。譬如要跳舞﹐就得戴著鐐銬
跳﹐要舞劍﹐就得在梅花樁上舞。否則就不能算是到了最高層次。在被認為語言頂
尖的詩歌範疇裡﹐如果同一首英詩﹐用白話文翻譯﹐或用某一古人詩形式翻譯﹐其
難易程度差別很大。現在舉Robert Herrick的Counsel to Girls一詩來看﹕

Gather ye rose-buds while ye may,
   Old time is still a-flying:
And this same flower that smiles to-day,
   Tomorrow will be dying.

The glorious Lamp of Heaven, the Sun,
   The higher he's a-getting
The sooner will his race be run,
   And nearer he's to setting.

That age is best which is the first,
   When youth and blood are warmer;
But being spent, the worse, and worst,
   Times, still succeed the former.

Then be not coy, but use your time;
   And while ye may, go marry:
For having lost but once your prime,
   You may for ever tarry.
此詩屬英文格律詩形式﹐即有METER﹐RHYME。當然﹐中文譯者可以把它譯成白話文
形式﹐就簡單多了﹐或者說是最容易的形式。如果要譯成較規則點的中文詩形式﹐
得多動些腦筋﹐難度就大點。要譯成某種古詩形式﹐當然更難。見下﹕

1) 給少女們的忠告
           
可以采花的時机,別錯過,            
時光老人在飛馳:           
今天還在微笑的花朵              
明天就會枯死。
           
太陽,那盞天上的華燈,             
向上攀登得越高,
路程的終點就會越臨近,             
剩余的時光也越少。
          
青春的年華是最最美好的,              
血气方剛,多熱情;            
過了青年,那越來越不妙的             
年月會陸續來臨。
           
那么,別怕羞,抓住机緣,             
你們該及時結婚;           
你一旦錯過了少年,(應該說﹕青春)            
會成千古恨。
(屠岸) 沒有詩感。不要說押了點韻就是詩。詩感是內在的。讀上去要能感受到激情
與美。因此﹐這個翻譯不能屬高層次。用白話文譯詩﹐沒有詩感﹐就談不上是高層
次的﹐流俗於現在的大部份白話詩了﹐成了散文分分行。如果有英詩朗讀經驗的﹐
這首英詩讀上去很有詩感。

2) 勸閨(閨字本身不能解作GIRLS。應用﹕閨女)

花須折時請你折,
古老時光飛逝過,
今日含笑花一朵,
明日干枯已凋落。

天堂明燈顯輝煌,
旭日高升量無窮;
气勢轉眼即耗光,
夕陽西下杳無蹤。

人生初始最為美,
青春風發血气剛;
一但失去空留悲,
時光總比青春長。

張揚青春莫羞澀,
緣分來時結良緣;
青春一旦消失過,
閨中等待怨嫁難。
(東海仙子) 譯成七字句難度較高。雖然形式上像古體詩中的七言句﹐但沒有古體詩
的韻味﹐只具形式而已。所以談不上屬最高層次﹐只是比白話詩高一層次。如果有
古體詩的韻味﹐就到了最高層次。詩意﹐韻味就如打拳時的精氣神﹐沒有內在的精
氣神﹐外形再好看也沒用。任何人可以用任何形式的中文文體翻譯英文﹐只要有這
種文體的精氣神。這就達到了最高境界。

勸女于歸

采采薔薇﹐及彼未萎﹔日月其邁﹐韶華如飛。
今夕此花﹐灼灼其姿﹔翌日何如﹐將作¬-c枝。
朝暾炘炘﹐燦若天燈﹔其光熠熠﹐載耀載昇。
彌高其行﹐彌短其程﹔日中必昃﹐言曛言暝。
年當破瓜﹐妙齡之佳﹔精血方盛﹐及春歲華。
一旦虛度﹐將自怨嗟﹔韶華如舊﹐爰征以遐。
勸汝莫羞﹐及花仍稠﹔采之拮之﹐覓一良儔。
韶光易逝﹐歲月難留﹔良辰一誤﹐永無好逑。
(海外逸士) 採用詩經體譯成。不僅是形式上而已﹐如“載耀載昇”﹐“言曛言暝”﹐
是典型的詩經體句式。曾給一位古文造詣很好的友人看過。他說“古意盎然”。

譯詩如此﹐譯文章也如此。最難譯的文章當然是中國古文。古文中最難譯的是文學
性極強的賦。比詩詞還難譯。這種賦裡的語言難點較多。沒有較高的古文基礎﹐根
本看不懂一篇古文﹐遑論翻譯。有的賦只是一般的敘述﹐難度較低。如宋玉的風賦。
而(南朝)江淹所作的《別賦》﹐是賦中之文學性較強的一篇。如篇首的“黯然銷
魂者,唯別而已矣”﹐及“春草碧色,春水綠波。送君南浦,傷如之何”﹐乃膾灸
人口的名句。故此賦的翻譯挑戰性較強。本人查過網上是否有人翻譯過﹐沒有查到。
或許是根本沒人譯過﹐或許是可能有譯本﹐而未上網。於是本人就戴著鐐銬跳會舞﹐
到梅花樁去舞會劍。不達到翻譯領域的最高境界決不罷休。

別賦(南朝)江淹

黯然銷魂者,唯別而已矣!況秦吳兮絕國,復燕宋兮千里。或春苔兮始生,乍秋風
兮蹔起。是以行子腸斷,百感悽惻。風蕭蕭而異響,雲漫漫而奇色。舟凝滯於水濱,
車逶遲於山側。櫂容與而詎前,馬寒鳴而不息。掩金觴而誰御,橫玉柱而霑軾。居
人愁臥,怳若有亡。日下壁而沈彩,月上軒而飛光。見紅蘭之受露,望青楸之離霜。
巡曾楹而空揜,撫錦幕而虛涼。知離夢之躑躅,意別魂之飛揚。故別雖一緒,事乃
萬族。至若龍馬銀鞍,朱軒繡軸。帳飲東都,送客金谷。琴羽張兮簫鼓陳,燕趙歌
兮傷美人。珠與玉兮豔暮秋,羅與綺兮嬌上春。驚駟馬之仰秣,聳淵魚之赤鱗。造
分手而銜涕,感寂漠而傷神。乃有劍客慚恩,少年報士。韓國趙廁,吳宮燕市。割
慈忍愛,離邦去里。瀝泣共訣,抆血相視。驅征馬而不顧,見行塵之時起。方銜感
於一劍,非買價於泉裏。金石震而色變,骨肉悲而心死。或乃邊郡未和,負羽從軍。
遼水無極,鴈山參雲。閨中風暖,陌上草薰。日出天而耀景,露下地而騰文。鏡朱
塵之照爛,襲青氣之煙熅。攀桃李兮不忍別,送愛子兮霑羅裙。至如一赴絕國,詎
相見期?視喬木兮故里,決北梁兮永辭。左右兮魂動,親賓兮淚滋。可班荊兮贈恨,
唯樽酒兮敘悲。值秋鴈兮飛日,當白露兮下時。怨復怨兮遠山曲,去復去兮長河湄。
又若君居淄右,妾家河陽。同瓊珮之晨照,共金爐之夕香。君結綬兮千里,惜瑤草
之徒芳。慚幽閨之琴瑟,晦高臺之流黃。春宮閟此青苔色,秋帳含茲明月光。夏簟
清兮晝不暮,冬釭凝兮夜何長!織錦曲兮泣已盡,迴文詩兮影獨傷。儻有華陰上士,
服食還山。術既妙而猶學,道已寂而未傳。守丹灶而不顧,鍊金鼎而方堅。駕鶴上
漢,驂鸞騰天。蹔遊萬里,少別千年。惟世間兮重別,謝主人兮依然。下有芍藥之
詩,佳人之歌。桑中衛女,上宮陳娥。春草碧色,春水綠波。送君南浦,傷如之何!
至乃秋露如珠,秋月如珪。明月白露,光陰往來。與子之別,思心徘徊。是以別方不
定,別理千名。有別必怨,有怨必盈。使人意奪神駭,心折骨驚。雖淵雲之墨妙,嚴
樂之筆精。金閨之諸彥,蘭臺之群英。賦有凌雲之稱,辯有雕龍之聲。誰能摹暫離
之狀,寫永訣之情者乎?

Essay on Parting

What's most gloomy to the soul is the parting experience only. Moreover,
Qin and Wu are the remotest states apart. And Yan and Song are a thousand
miles from each other. When spring moss begins to grow or autumn winds suddenly
arise, travelers, therefore, will be heartbroken with all sorts of miserable
emotions. Winds sough in weird sounds. Clouds spread wide with quaint colors.
The boat's at the waterside, as if frozen there. The coach's at the hillside,
as if hindered on the long journey. As the oar's deliberately rowed, how
can the boat go fast? The horses neigh in cold ceaselessly. Covering up
golden goblets; who cares for drink now? Put aside the zither; tears wet
the front bar on the coach. Households at home lie in sorrow as if at a
loss. Sunlight on the wall moves downward with its color sinking. Moonlight
on the pavilion moves up with its brilliance reflected. When seeing red
orchid bearing dews and perceiving green Chinese catalpa covered with frost,
when walking round the high house shutting up emptiness and touching silk
drapery feeling so cold, one can know the traveling person should be wandering
even in the dream and can guess his parting soul should be hovering afar.
Therefore, the feeling of parting is the same, but conditions are of thousands.

       
Having tall horses with silvery saddles and crimson coaches with carved
axis ready, the host and the guest drink for parting in the tent outside
east capital as if bidding the guest farewell in JinGu Garden(1), where
zithers are played in a gloomy tune, fifes and drums on display, and heartbreaking
songs of Yan and Zhao sadden beauties around, where pearls and jade gleam
colorfully in late autumn and gauze and brocade show splendor in early spring,
where horses alarmed by loud music raise their heads in chewing fodder
and fishes with ruddy scales jump high from deep creeks, and where tears
are shed when parting and hearts broken when thinking of solitary journey.
       
There are swordsmen ashamed of not repaying those for their kindness and
young knights intending to return favors as in events happening in Han Kingdom(
2), in the lavatory of Zhao Kingdom(3), in the palace of Wu Kingdom(4) and
in the marketplace of Yan Kingdom(5). They either deserted their loved ones,
or left their own countries, or shed tears in final farewell, or wiped bloody
eyes staring at each other. They rode away at full gallop without looking
back, only rising dusts seen in the wake. They wanted to repay favors using
swords without intention of going to the nether world for any price in exchange.
But when bells and drums boomed, the color on the face changed(6). The
heart stopped beating at the death of her own flesh and blood(7).
       
If there is no peace on the border, people join army bringing bows and arrows.
The Liao River is unlimited and Mount Yanmen towers into clouds. When the
wind into the bower feels warm and the grass in fields smells sweet, when
the sun rises in the sky so radiant and dews on the ground glitter with
multi-tinge, when scarlet dusts mirror a brilliant tint and green mists look
hazy and smoky, and just as hands are raised to hold branches of peach and
plum trees, parting is very much unbearable, especially with a beloved one,
tears wetting the gauze skirt.
       
As for departure for the remotest states, how can reunion be possible? Looking
at tall trees in homeland and saying the eternal goodbye on the northern
bridge, people around the parting person have their souls touched by distress,
and friends and relatives weep bitter tears. They can arrange boughs on
the ground to sit imparting their regret and show their sorrow by drinking
wine. Just on the day when wild geese in autumn fly south and when white
frost fall on earth, the parting person grieves and groans at zigzag spots
among distant hills and proceeds on and on alongside the long river.
       
If you live to the west of Ming River and my home is located in Heyang,
we bask in morning sun rays with jade on our dress and sit together round
an evening brass incense burner. When you go a thousand miles away with
a tied ribbon(8), it's pitiable for a fair herb to beget scent in vain(9).
I feel ashamed facing the zither in my quiet boudoir(10) and let the yellow
silk curtain darken the high tower(11). Spring palace shuts out green color
of moss; autumn canopy's steeped in moonlight; summer bamboo mat's so cool
and the day turns to dusk too slow; the flame in winter lamp is like staying
congealed(12) and the night is so long. Weaving my song into a silky letter
exhausts my tears in sobbing and writing a rondeau poem makes my lone self
miserable(13).
       
If there's a Taoist on Mount Hua, who takes the elixir of life, he becomes
an immortal. His talent is great, but he still studies. His art reaches
a great stage, but not yet to the utmost. He keeps busy in making divine
pills and ignores everything else. He's firm in determination to finish
them in a brass cauldron. Then he rides on a stork into clouds or astride
a phoenix to heaven. He can travel a myriad miles in a jiffy and has a brief
separation as if a thousand years elapsed in the human world. Since mortals
look upon parting seriously, he takes leave of the host(14) lingeringly.
       
Under heaven there's a poem of Chinese herbaceous peony(15) and a song of
a beauty(16). There are girls in Sangzhong of Wei State and damsels in Shanggong
of Chen State(17). When spring grass turns verdant and spring water ripples
green, what kind of anguish can be like this as seeing you off at Nanpu?
When autumn dew looks like pearl and autumn moon like a round jade, when
the moon is bright and dew is white, and when time comes and goes, I'm thinking
of you over and over again after separation from you.
       
Therefore, people involving in parting are of various sorts, and situations
and reasons for parting are greatly different. If there's separation, there
will be regret, full of regret, which makes people's will lost, spirit terrified,
heart agonized and bone tormented. Even if there are superior articles
of Yuan and Yun(18), and excellent writings of Yan and Le(19), or even if
there are men of letters in JinGui(20) and men of talent in Lantai(21),
and even if there is the best essay like Lingyun(22) or best repartee like
in Diaolong(23), who has the ability of describing the current conditions
of separation or depicting the feelings of eternal parting?

總結﹕勸女于歸的英譯中﹐已達到英詩中譯裡的最高層次。而別賦﹐已達到古文中
譯英裡的最高層次。沒發現以前有人譯過。但希望有後來者﹐能在確切達意﹐及用
詞精到﹑句型簡潔﹑節奏感強等方面﹐超過本人。本人對此深有厚望。唯有志於翻
譯者勉之。莫使本人有“前不見古人﹐後不見來者﹔念譯界之彫零﹐獨愴然而涕下”
之慨。

本人有一小小請求。本人已年逾古稀﹐即臻耄耋﹐終歸塵土。如有後來者譯出最高
層次作品﹐請焚一紙稿與我﹐以慰我這漫遊於那負時空之亡靈。先致謝意於此。
作者: thesunlover     时间: 2011-9-3 14:38
Why put in 侃山闲聊 ??

Move it to 诗苑 > 詩歌翻譯
作者: 海外逸士     时间: 2011-9-4 08:06
有時不知該放哪裡。謝謝建議。
作者: 廖康     时间: 2011-9-5 11:39
平心而论,Gather ye rose-buds while ye may的中译文是我看到的海外逸士的最好的翻译。但原诗风格平易,译文风格略嫌古奥,与原诗不合。好在这次他没有给前辈评级,我就不多说了。只想告诉大家,逸士帖子里提到的屠岸不仅学问横贯中西,而且是中国所剩不多的能够用古语发音吟咏诗词者之一。所幸他已录下大量诗词吟诵,为中国非物质文化遗产做出了宝贵贡献。他才是真正的耄耋老人,已为后人留下天鹅之歌。
作者: 海外逸士     时间: 2011-9-5 12:25
廖康﹐我不知屠岸老先生是什麼情況。我只對作品進行評論。不管任何人﹐就是天王
老子也照應評。你要跟我討論﹐別提什麼人﹐只討論評得對不對。




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