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标题: 评ID海外英译“题西林壁”----苏轼 [打印本页]

作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-26 20:05     标题: 评ID海外英译“题西林壁”----苏轼

题西林壁----苏轼
Written On the Cliff of West Forest

横看成岭侧成峰, 远近高低各不同。 不识庐山真面目, 只缘身在此山中。

Looking like a ridge transversely, and a peak laterally
The view's different from far or near, from high or low
I don't know what it really looks like
'Cause I am within the range of Mount Lu


评论: 

这几句不是英语。 不是一般的惨不忍睹。糟蹋古人诗词上瘾了。 主要是他没能理解中文的意思。 但英语也是实在太烂。

(1) 英诗忌讳太多副词和把副词放在句尾,这是基本常识。
(2) 既然原诗“远近高低个不同” 就要用Views。低级常识错误。 
(3)真面目---没有译出。 庐山没有译出。 
。。。
 (4)这更加不是诗,没有英是的属性。  

建议:他的英语得从二年级学起。 是小学二年级。  


(只看其他网友的回复,  将忽略这个ID的留言。 )
作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-26 20:25
期待高手小草的好译。:)
作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-26 20:59
Comments on A Letter from A Funeral Home http://www.writingforums.com/threads/165837-A-Letter-from-A-Funeral-Home
作者: 小草     时间: 2016-8-27 02:52
I give it a try for fun only...


《题西林壁》- 苏轼

横看成岭侧成峰,
远近高低各不同。
不识庐山真面目,
只缘身在此山中。

A Quatrain By Su Shi
(Inscription on the Wall of Xiling Temple)

A ridge from this way, that way a peak high,
On locations it depends, far or nigh,
Or high or low; as I’m right in th' Mount Lu,
Its true face I’m not able to espy.  

Tr. Xiao Cao
作者: 小草     时间: 2016-8-27 02:58


引用:
Originally posted by Xiaoman at 2016-8-27 01:05 AM:
题西林壁----苏轼
Written On the Cliff of West Forest

横看成岭侧成峰, 远近高低各不同。 不识庐山真面目, 只缘身在此山中。

Looking like a ridge transversely, and a peak laterally
The view's ..

3)真面目---没有译出。 庐山没有译出。

小曼同学,这次你似乎武断了

what it really looks like = 暗示了不知庐山真面目,要上下文一起看,呵呵呵,我也为了简洁和音节以及韵脚,也把原诗的字词搬东挪西了,哈哈哈
作者: 小草     时间: 2016-8-27 03:04
题西林壁----苏轼
Written On the Cliff of West Forest

⑴题西林壁:写在西林寺的墙壁上。西林寺在庐山西麓。题:书写,题写。西林:西林寺,在江西庐山。

海外逸士的翻译似乎与网上的解读不同哈,呵呵呵
作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-27 05:29
小草译得不错。小心被他抄袭,他有抄袭前科,惯偷了。
作者: 小草     时间: 2016-8-27 06:42


引用:
Originally posted by Xiaoman at 2016-8-27 10:29 AM:
小草译得不错。小心被他抄袭,他有抄袭前科,惯偷了。

Well, Xiaoman, it's high time you forgave and reconciled ...

Animosity is the bane of your own life... which will eat away your EQ and IQ
作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-27 06:50
As long as that Id doesn't leave a message here and all my other threads.

Thanks!

I am interested in seeing how many mistakes he had made in just 4 lines. And that is all...

Nothing can entertain me here except correcting poetry translations, and, doing this with you, together,of course.
作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-27 07:06


引用:
Originally posted by 小草 at 2016-8-27 06:42:


Well, Xiaoman, it's high time you forgave and reconciled ...

Animosity is the bane of your own life... which will eat away your EQ and IQ

You are right indeed, high time I should have. Now taking the high road is the right choice.
作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-27 07:15
The reason I choose his works to correct and demonstrate is that his things are the worst I have ever found in the Internet  and translation field, no animosity, just being unhypocritical.
作者: 小草     时间: 2016-8-27 07:33


引用:
Originally posted by Xiaoman at 2016-8-27 12:15 PM:
The reason I choose his works to correct and demonstrate is that his works are the worst I have ever found in the Internet  and translation field, no animosity, to be unhypocritical.

You can criticize what he has written or is going to write, but please keep in mind "be professional"
And "be fair"!
作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-27 08:16
Tanks xiaocao i ami gong to a job fair Now...

Overseas Hermit is the one who started to  be unprofessional first, not us.

Please keep That Id away from this thread for me。thanks
作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-27 11:25
As long as Overseas hermit can refrain himself from leaving me gross messages, neither privately nor publicly , I will think about being professional when  giving comments on his exercises. This is  one of my interests and entertaining things to do online, especially in this forum where at least, so far as I know, 3 professors in the translation filed are reading my posts.  

Without finding errors in his exercises what else  can I do to have fun?

After criticizing  20 more of his "translations" , if you have to say they are,   and when I feel better,  he will be allowed to leave me message in my latest tread, for the purpose of asking for advice only.

Am I making myself clear? Thank you!
作者: 海外逸士     时间: 2016-8-27 12:49
Mr. Little Grass. here is my translation:

Written On the Wall of West Forest Temple
By Su Shi

It looks like a ridge, viewed from this side, and a peak from that side
The view's different from far or near, from high or low
I don't know what its face really looks like
'Cause I am within the range of Mount Lu
作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-27 19:09
修改了。知错就改,不错。孺子可教。

你的原译被截图了。 就算你现在去改, 你几十个网站,来不及了。 典型的不见棺材不流泪。

链接:
http://wxs.hi2net.com/home/blog_read.asp?id=10&blogid=34997

看来你在中国没有受过至少的初中的教育, 在西方更加没有上过学,所以顺口开河,
不提供任何证据是你的表达方式。  在这里你想装傻,装蒙,不择手段是不现实的。
附件 1 : 题西林壁.png (2016-8-27 19:11, 134.09 K )



作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-27 19:16
教你怎样正确用英语表达: Mr. Little Grass, here is my improved version.  

这次免费教你。 下次你没那么走运了。

对了, 你英语太差看不懂我上边的话。 我主要意思: 你不欢迎在我的帖子留言。等我评论够20首你的所谓“译文” 你才可以在我帖子留言,而且内容只能是请教我。 当然,我有权不回答你。 看心情。

不过你皮厚。大家懂的。 呵呵! :)
作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-27 19:24
根据你改正过的,我再评:

你再学50年,也没有小草现在的水平。 加油! 
作者: Xiaoman     时间: 2016-8-27 19:25
你这天下第一当的, 我可没请你进我的帖自取其辱。 
作者: 小草     时间: 2016-8-27 21:51


引用:
Originally posted by 海外逸士 at 2016-8-27 05:49 PM:
Mr. Little Grass. here is my translation:

Written On the Wall of West Forest Temple
By Su Shi

It looks like a ridge, viewed from this side, and a peak from that side
The view's different fr..

谢谢海外逸士!谢谢分享您的改进版!




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