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Xiaoman

#1  [原创] 英译:水龙吟·登建康 / 赏心亭/ 辛弃疾

问候各位老师们!还不是很熟识使用~~多谢雪儿老师和版主帮忙注册。~~试发一个贴,多谢指正。祝各位新周愉快!



水龙吟·登建康⑴赏心亭⑵  辛弃疾

楚天千里清秋,水随天去秋无际。
遥岑⑶远目,献愁供恨,玉簪螺髻⑷。
落日楼头,断鸿⑸声里,江南游子。
把吴钩⑹看了,栏杆拍遍,无人会,登临意。

休说鲈鱼堪脍,尽西风,季鹰归未⑺?
求田问舍,怕应羞见,刘郎才气⑻。
可惜流年⑼,忧愁风雨⑽,树犹如此⑾!
倩⑿何人唤取,红巾翠袖⒀,揾⒁英雄泪!

试翻译:

Under the vast Chu sky
autumn looks clear and bright,
Water follows the sky,
leaving the autumn that is indefinite.
The mountains in distance,
Give a gloomy appearance,
Hairpins of jade and buns of spiraling.
The sun sets on the tall building,
In the lost goose' sounds
There is the traveler on the River South.
I look at the Wu Sword
which hits everywhere on the balustrade,
Oh! No one can understand
my mood at this moment.
The perch taste? No mention,
Wind blows in a western direction,
Has JiYing (2) returned home yet?
He requested house prices instead,
He should hesitate
To see Liu Lang's(3) mind and spirit.
What a shame,
Time goes by in the sorrowful wind and rain,
Even trees go like this!
Oh! Who can I ask for some pieces
Of handkerchiefs
For wiping off the hero's tears ?

(1) Xin Qiji http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xin_Qiji

(2) JiYing--An official in Jin Dynasty. The autumn wind reminded him of the tasty perch in his hometown, he then resigned his position and went home for a comfortable life.
(3) Liu Lang http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liu_Bei

Translator: Xiaoman


2015-4-12 20:03
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Xiaoman

#2  

很高兴,很荣幸来伊甸文苑学习,多谢老师们,高手们不吝赐教,斧正我的习作:

满庭芳/苏轼

蝸角虛名,蠅頭微利,算來着甚干忙。
事皆前定,誰弱又誰強。
且趁閑身未老,須放我、些子疏狂。
百年裡,渾教是醉,三萬六千場。
思量,能幾許?憂愁風雨,一半相妨。
又何須抵死,說短論長。
幸對清風皓月,苔茵展、雲幕高張。
江南好,千鍾美酒,一曲《滿庭芳》。

Sweet Smell Around Us

By Su Dongpo (Tang Dynasty)

The fame and fortune are small,
Not worth it after all.
All things are fated; who is weak and who is strong?
While still young, we are allowed to do things a bit wrong.
In one hundred years, even if to get drunk every day,
There are only thirty-six thousand times all the way.
Think about it, how many happy hours can we have?
Sorrowful wind and rain take up the other half.
So why should we insist on wrong or right, yes or no,
Facing the blue moss, soft breeze, bright moon while clouds flow?
Jiang Nan is beautiful;let's drink good wine for thousands of cups,
And sing the Sweet Smell Around Us.

Translator: Xiaoman, June 1, 2014

Su DongPo introduction:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Su_Shi


2015-4-12 20:12
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冬雪儿

#3  

欢迎Xiaoman的到来!


2015-4-12 20:44
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冬雪儿

#4  



引用:
Originally posted by Xiaoman at 2015-4-13 01:03 AM:
问候各位老师们!还不是很熟识使用~~多谢雪儿老师和版主帮忙注册。~~试发一个贴,多谢指正。祝各位新周愉快!



水龙吟·登建康⑴赏心亭⑵  辛弃疾

楚天千里清秋,水随天去秋无际。
遥岑⑶远目,献愁..

“辽阔的南国秋空千里冷落凄凉,江水随天空流去,秋天更无边无际。极目遥望远处的山岭,只引起我对国土沦丧的忧愁与愤恨,还有那远山像女人头上的玉簪和螺髻。西下的太阳斜照着这楼头,在长空远飞离群孤雁的悲鸣声里,还有我这流落江南的思乡游子。我看着这吴地产的宝刀,狠狠地把楼上的栏杆都拍遍了,也没有人领会我现在登楼的心意。
别说鲈鱼切碎了能烹成佳肴美味,西风吹遍了,不知张季鹰已经归未?像只为自己购置田地房产的许汜,应怕,惭愧地去见才气双全的刘备。可惜时光如流水一般过去,我真担心着风雨飘摇中的国家,真像桓温所说树也已长得这么大!叫谁去请那披红着绿的歌女,来为我擦掉英雄失意的眼泪!”(百科解析)——诗人辛弃疾之悲叹、悲怆,何又不是当今的写照。


2015-4-12 20:50
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thesunlover

#5  

热烈欢迎 Xiaoman!让我们相互学习进步。



因为我和黑夜结下了不解之缘 所以我爱太阳
2015-4-12 21:01
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fanghuzhai

#6  

看汉诗英译,我主张不看中文,先看英文。尽量想像自己是不懂中文的老外。那么英文是他唯一获得意义的依据。我们知道英语不同于汉语。汉语可以意在词不在,句法要求宽松,想象空间大。英文则相反。由词组句,由句生意。语法结构是不可忽视的。我把我这个假洋鬼子的理解打成中文。


Under the vast sky of Chu, autumn looks clear and bright,
Water follows the sky, leaving the autumn that is indefinite.
在楚国广邈的天空下,秋天显得清亮。
水跟随着天,离开了无限的秋天。

The mountains in distance,
Give a gloomy appearance,
Hairpins of jade and buns of spiraling.
远处的山看起来很压抑
玉的发卡和盘起来的头发。


The sun sets on the tall building,
In the lost goose' sounds
There is the traveler on the River South.

太阳落在高楼上,在迷失方向的雁叫声中,南江上有这个旅人。
I look at the Wu Sword
Which hits everywhere on the balustrade,

我看着吴国的剑,这个剑击打石头栏杆各个地方。

Oh! No one can understand
My mood at this moment,
The perch taste? No mention,
此时我的心情没有人懂。
鱼的味道?别提了。

Wind blows in a western direction,
Has JiYing (2) returned home yet?

西风吹,季鹰回家没有?

He requested house prices instead,

他没回家,反而打听房价。

He should hesitate
To see Liu Lang's(3) mind and spirit.

他如果看到刘郎的心气和精神,应该犹豫。

What a shame,
Time goes by in the sorrowful wind and rain,
Even trees go like this!

真让人羞愧,时间在凄风苦雨中过去,甚至树也如此。
Oh! Who can I ask for some pieces
Of handkerchiefs
For wiping off the hero's tears ?

我可以问谁借几块手帕
擦掉这位英雄的眼泪?


2015-4-12 21:45
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Xiaoman

#7  

谢谢雪儿老师,Thesunlover老师,和Fanghuzhai老师的回复和指导。谢谢Fang老师留言指导,真如醍醐灌顶,我对您的话的领会是:译者要站在读者的角度去看译文,如果译文倒过来翻译成汉语时候,与原诗距离差别太大就算不上及格的译文。再次感谢方老师!谢谢雪儿老师贴出译文。:)


2015-4-12 22:17
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Xiaoman

#8  

A Piece Of Chocolate Cake (第一次学写的十四行诗,今天回头看修改了一些错误)

Shall I not bring home the chocolate cake?
I have been educated not to waste,
My luggage is heavy like a hippo, not fake.
The flight won't wait, I 'd better make haste.  
I ask the front desk about the bus routine,
And the girl says it is coming soon and fast.
On the board, their restaurant ad with poutine,
Reminds me of my unfinished breakfast.
But I really  don't want to put on weight.
Maybe I will just have the cake saved?
My seat number is 16F which is eight plus eight,
Sitting next to me, is a man with bear shaved.  
So long Toronto! The vigorous city, my fave,
What's left of me are the memories my family gave.
  


Rhyming scheme:ABAB CDCD EFEF GG



写于2012年六月中旬回家(安大略)探亲。写的是在返回原住处时所见,所感。

Shall I 。。。开头,参考了莎士比亚sonnet 18 。。。。。。 多谢大家看帖和指教!问好!


2015-4-12 22:28
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