诚如曼兄所言，北岛的诗“确实是好。”
再翻一首短诗。匆匆抛砖。 《回答》长了些，改天再试。 ：）


迷途
北岛

沿着鸽子的哨音
我寻找着你
高高的森林挡住了天空
小路上
一颗迷途的蒲公英
把我引向蓝灰色的湖泊
在微微摇晃的倒影中
我找到了你
那深不可测的眼睛


Astray
Bei Dao
Translated by Chenzuidongfeng

Following a dove’s whistle
I look for you
The towering forest blocks the sky
On a small path
A dandelion gone astray
Leads me to the bluish gray lake
In the gently swaying reflection
I find your eyes
So deep and immeasurable---》unfathomably deep  
（谢忍忍，Imannuel 修改！）


__________________________________________________

Oct. 2, 2010

采纳忍妹/逸士先生高见, 再做修改:

Lost
Bei Dao


Following a dove whistle
I look for you
The towering forest blocks the sky
On a small trail
A dandelion gone astray
Leads me to the bluish gray lake
In the gently swaying reflection
I find you
The unfathomable eye

towering--好像towering 是形容人造的东西， 用soaring？总之在换个词。。。

immeasurable--unfathomable 是不是好一些？

好诗，喜欢。

关于 towering, "soaring" is certainly fine, but "towering" is also OK to describe trees.  
狗一句：

A walk through Joyce Kilmer Memorial Forest is a journey back in time through a magnificent forest with towering trees as old as 400 years...


关于 ”unfathomable", pretty good!
雪莱有诗， Unfathomable Sea.  改天也翻翻看。
我几分钟涂的，不动脑筋的。  

多谢忍妹指点！ ：）

My friend who "indulges" in wine...

Few observations. Hope they make sense.

(I share these just for fun and our "friendship". No intention to outsmart you...Ha-ha-ha...)

1. Doves and pigeons belong to the same family. However, I do think there is a difference in their connotations. My impression: a dove would be a wild bird, white, pretty, and, most of all, free; while a pigeon is a bit like a domesticated "pet". In the original poem, such a bird is like "a goose" in our classics, serves as a messager. That's why it can "blow" the whistle. So I think "pigeon" might be a better rendering...

2. I would change "I look for you" to " I found you".

3. I am not sure on this one: "a lake of blue and gray" seems would sound better than "the bluish gray lake".

4. "Go astray" would imply more than "got lost".

5. I prefer Renren's choice, but it could be used as an adverb-"unfathomably deep".

Any thoughts?

yes, i "indulge" myself in "wine" all the time.  


wow, five observations!  
you sure have a sharp eye besides a smart brain, and i have no intention to beat my brains out to outsmart you. ;)


do appreciate your "friendship".  thanks!  

1.Immanuel: Doves and pigeons belong to the same family. However, I do think there is a difference in their connotations. My impression: a dove would be a wild bird, white, pretty, and, most of all, free; while a pigeon is a bit like a domesticated "pet". In the original poem, such a bird is like "a goose" in our classics, serves as a messager. That's why it can "blow" the whistle.  So I think "pigeon" might be a better rendering...

====>

you certainly know a lot about animals.

googling around, i found an interesting link.  
what you said is certainly true!  
i'll quote two particular posts just for my benefit.   
always good to learn something new out of discussions.  


zt

dove vs. pigeon
http://www.proz.com/forum/teaching_and_learning_languages/28738-dove_vs_pigeon_how_to_explain_the_difference.html

There is no true scientific difference between 'pigeons' and 'doves'. While the smaller pigeons often get called 'doves', this is fairly inconsistent.

dove=good; pigeon = bad  Jan 25, 2005  

In all the replies, I don't think anyone has pointed out that the connotations of the word 'dove' are usually positive and those of the word 'pigeon' are usually negative. This is because the birds classified as doves rather than pigeons are usually prettier and have long been associated with love and peace. The birds classified as pigeons are nowadays generally considered to be a nuisance (except to people who like or actually keep them as pets!) and there are a few expressions including the word which also tend to have negative connotations, such as 'pigeon-toed', 'pigeon-chested', or even 'pigeon-holed'.

There's a similar thing with raven and crow. A lot of native English speakers would not be able to tell you the difference between the two - and indeed there may not even be a difference, But 'raven' sounds grand and striking and has a good connotation - conjuring up the image of the famous birds at the Tower of London and all the history and tradition - whereas 'crow' has a bad connotation and has even come to be used pejoratively about women (what a surprise!) to describe an elderly woman.

I don't know if this helps - but I really do think it's more to do with the associations of the words in question and how they are used than the scientific meanings when the two things are so similar that it's difficult to tell the difference.

zt

2.Immanuel:  I would change "I look for you" to " I found you".

=====>

我寻找着你

is this the sentence you were talking about?
if so, i disagree.  


3.Immanuel: I am not sure on this one: "a lake of blue and gray" seems would sound better than "the bluish gray lake".

=========>

i once heard my Caucasian friend saying "bluish gray eyes".

蓝灰色的湖泊   
the color of the lake is kinda between blue and gray, i suppose?
if it's 蓝色的湖泊, then the author must be in a suuny mood.  


4. Immanuel: "Go astray" would imply more than "got lost".

=====>

yes, i know what you mean.
i think "astray" can be referred to two meanings, and one of them is "got lost".

let me double check with a friend of mine tomorrow.

zt from the online dictionary:

1). out of the right way; off the correct or known road, path, or route: Despite specific instructions, they went astray and got lost.  
2). away from that which is right; into error, confusion, or undesirable action or thought: They were led astray by their lust for money.  


5. Immanuel: I prefer Renren's choice, but it could be used as an adverb-"unfathomably deep".

=====>

you guys are super!

you'll never need to worry about alzheimer's disease.  


many thanks, my friend!

You seem to be already sober...

Anyway, I agree with you here, totally...

Now, thank you for not being picky on my being picky...

Love

glad you agree with me, but are you sure?  
as for #1, the thing is, even some Caucasians can't differentiate a dove from a pigeon.
hope i didn't leave you with the impression of being too argumentative.  


always wonderful to learn something new.  can't say thank you enough!
otherwise, i'd be really out of my brain.


cheers!
"be drunk, be continually drunk!  On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."

Love you, man. Long time did not have the chance to drink some Chinese Wine...I miss it....

醉兄，

1，Astray 是个adjective， 作题目不太好。

2，unfathomable = unmeasurably deep , therefore

unfathomably deep  is redundant.

我最近想起这首的翻译。

中文的不通﹕究竟是鴿子的叫聲像哨音﹐還是人用哨音來召喚鴿子﹖

英文﹕CAN  A  DOVE  WHISTLE﹖A  DOVE  SHOULD  COO。

Neither. It is a whistle tied to a leg of a dove. :-)

北岛是负盛名的诗人

坦言之， 以我的水平看不出这首诗好在哪里？虽说诗是非常个人的东西， 但是这首诗给我的感觉是故作高深， 意象的跳跃我感觉不到联系， 而且好诗的两个可能效果都没有对我发生作用：
1。 唤起我的感情
2。 或者说明一个人生的哲理

诸位不必以我的评论认真， 可能是我的水平问题。北岛还是北岛。(^o^)

Only because you didn't understand it, specially this one.

You know who did he find at last?

He felt unsettled, disquiet, because he didn't know who he was. But, then he realized...

同样的意境， 高行建的表达， 给我的感觉完全不同

81

　　窗外的雪地里我见到一只很小很小的青蛙，眨巴一只眼睛，另一只眼圆睁睁，一动不动，直望着我。我知道这就是上帝。

　　他就这样显示在我面前，只看我是不是领悟。

　　他用一只眼睛在同我说话，一张一合，上帝同人说话的时候不愿人听到他的声音。

　　我也毫不奇怪，似乎就应该这样，仿佛上帝原来就是只青蛙，那一只聪明的圆眼睛一眨不眨。他肯审视我这个可怜的人，就够仁慈的了。

　　他另一只眼，眼皮一张一合在讲人类无法懂得的语言，我应该明白，至于我是否明白，这并不是上帝的事情。

　　我尽可以以为这眨动的眼皮中也许并没有什么意义，可它的意义也许就正在这没有意义之中。

　　没有奇迹。上帝就是这么说的，对我这个不知餍足的人说。

　　那么，还有什么可追求的？我问他。

　　周围静悄悄的，雪落下来没有声音。我有点诧异这种平静。天堂里就这么安静。

　　也没有喜悦。喜悦是对忧虑而言。

　　只落着雪。

　　我不知我此时身在何处，我不知道天堂里这片土地又从何而来，我四周环顾。

　　我不知道我什么也不懂，还以为我什么都懂。

　　事情就出在我背后又总有只莫名其妙的眼睛，我就只好不懂装懂。

　　装做要弄懂却总也弄不懂。

　　我其实什么也不明白，什么也不懂。

　　就是这样。

真是没劲。

就像说，你的鞋子穿着舒服。

Never realize that that statement doesn't have any new information there.

昨夜对月饮酒,  醉眠芳草.
忍妹, 容我周末脑袋清醒些再来.  :-)

谢各位高论,  也谢格先生转摘, 容我得闲慢慢欣赏.  :-)

忍妹, 海外先生, 格先生, 慢牛,  各位秋安!

北岛是先锋诗人，随着他的时代渐渐远去，他诗歌的价值不断降低。

不过这一首好象比较能够经得起岁月的考验，朦胧的意境颇能让人嚼味品味。我以为好诗的一个标准是只可意会不可言传，所谓“此中有真意， 欲辩已忘言”。

谢爱阳苑主惠赐高见, 受教.
本懒人当时译这首诗, 一是因为诗短, 二是因为其"朦胧的意境".
一般来说, 除非知道诗的背景, 很多好诗读来的确似懂非懂.
大概只有意境或文字能让人再回首的诗, 才算得上好诗吧.


谢格先生坦诚, 欣赏您的坦率.  各抒己见才有意思.  :-)
没有读过高行健的<<灵山>>,   只瞧过他的几篇短篇,  却早已淡忘了.
再谢转摘, 很有参悟的文字.


谢逸士先生质疑, 谢忍妹释疑. 受益.

遛下狗:

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://images.28.com/up/tai01/11/WJ060303-5.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.28.com/jy/yy/n-9736.html&h=280&w=400&sz=10&tbnid=d2YF_wlv0HmqjM:&tbnh=87&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%25E9%25B8%25BD%25E5%2593%25A8&zoom=1&q=%E9%B8%BD%E5%93%A8&hl=en&usg=__rgxZBrMP3BYCDzSHnDNKNxYpXwc=&sa=X&ei=-4KeTKnBPI-esQP7tI3WAQ&ved=0CDQQ9QEwBQ

zt:
http://zhidao.baidu.com/question/16334732

鸽哨又名鸽铃，属于一种民间风物，已有上千年的历史。全国有不少地方都能制作鸽哨，而北京的鸽哨制作水平无论声响效果还是品种类型，都算是比较精致的，这与北京城悠久的历史文化有着密切的关系。鸽哨的效果随着鸽子飞放方式的不同而不同。鸽群偶尔自高而降，一落千丈，会突然哨声齐喑，倏乎哨音又复，停顿处令人有“此时无声胜有声”的感觉。  

北京养鸽放飞，主要分为两种：一种叫“走趟子”，另一种放飞叫“飞盘”，鸽哨发音，基本上是同时齐作，不能随人意愿使其孰鸣孰停，孰细孰宏。

◆转——
传统玩具鸽哨

鸽哨的配音，应了解两种情况：一是鸽子的负荷能力，二是哨子的音量和音色。鸽子有强有弱，负荷能力也各不相同，须经实际考查，不可仅凭目测。有的体形雄健，却最多只能带中号葫芦和大二筒，反不及体小之鸽负荷力强。鸽哨中也有大的反比小的尖脆的情况，如“兴”字的九星、十一眼等，因管内的二层底垫得高，故比他家所制同等大小的哨子或更小的哨子还要尖脆。还有旧哨，因为年代久远，难免开胶虫蛀，漏气泄风，若不修补重粘，则其音不正，甚至喑哑无声。故哨子也须一一分别试听，才知其音效。

北京养鸽放飞，主要分为两种：一种叫“走趟子”，选当年或一二龄的壮鸽，取其血气方刚，喜欢远游，清晨起飞后两三盘旋即直奔他方，日将卓午方才飞回。为走趟子的鸽子佩哨，虽多至一二十头，也只从小葫芦、二筒、三联、七星中选两三把而已。因鸽群远征，不宜负重，直线飞行，哨音平直，不会有回荡婉转的韵味。况且瞬间声影已杳，只有飞回时，才隐隐听到哨音自远而近。故为它佩哨，是为了能收到音响信号，用不着有什么配音。

另一种放飞叫“飞盘”，鸽群起飞后，围绕所居，一再盘旋，渐盘渐高，直薄云霄，虽小到翩翩如彩蝶，仍仰首可见。有顷徐徐盘下，齐落瓦面。如饲养用方，水食得当，可以三起三落，历一二小时才收盘归巢。飞盘的的鸽群，最宜选哨配音，欣赏其声响。由于鸽群盘旋回转，哨口受风角度不同，强弱有别，哨音乃有轻重巨细的变化。尤当鸽群向左向右轮番回旋，即所谓的“摔盘儿”时，哨音的变化更为明显，也更有规律。这时就不是各哨齐鸣，而具有交响的变化了。鸽群偶或自高疾降，一落百丈，急掠而过，霎时间各哨齐喑，转瞬哨音又复，这一停顿，真是“此时无声胜有声”。

.....

忍妹sharp. 佩服你的认真精神.

我今早特意请教了一位主修文学的美国朋友.
转述她的大意. 中转英, 英转中, 必有失精确,  仅供参考.    以下也只是她的个见.  :-)

1. 题目不分词性. 形容词也可做标题.
Lost 或许更好.

2. "unfathomably deep", 可以这么用, 也可单说"unfathomable", 要具体看.
她不通中文, 当然很难具体了.  :-)
"unfathomably deep",  抽象讲, 是深到无法探测的地步, 诸如人的思想等.
以我拙见, 或许两者皆可.  :-)


迟复为歉, 实在是疲于奔命.

忍妹玩好, 祝事事胜意.  :-)

最妙那：“深不可测的眼睛”

谢雅致仙子点评.  秋安!

采纳忍妹/逸士先生高见, 再做修改:


迷途
北岛

沿着鸽子的哨音
我寻找着你
高高的森林挡住了天空
小路上
一颗迷途的蒲公英
把我引向蓝灰色的湖泊
在微微摇晃的倒影中
我找到了你
那深不可测的眼睛


Lost
Bei Dao


Following a dove whistle
I look for you
The towering forest blocks the sky
On a small trail
A dandelion gone astray
Leads me to the bluish gray lake
In the gently swaying reflection
I find you
The unfathomable eye