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七律---梦觉咏月 Ode to the Moon
七律---梦觉咏月 Ode to the Moon

中秋昨夜挂银盆 The Mid-Autumn Moon in sky's like a silver plate,
恰似当年主义真 Resembling communism we used to advocate.
缈缈清辉涤宇宙 Its light seems to beam on the entire universe.
斑斑坑穴布全身 Its surface's all covered by numerous craters.
才承日曝灼皮肉 It's scorched by the relentless sun during the day.
又著阴寒冻命根 It's frozen like hell when it goes the other way.
大气不曾屏汝障 It is never protected by an atmosphere,
流星随意注天恩 But raped repeatedly by many a meteor.

廖康写译

17 评论

Beautiful! I enjoyed it. But just a nit if I am not mistaken, I heard that the hell is hot with fire on. but not cold.  我听说地狱是热的,因为火,并非冰冷。

Xiaoman  [评] 2015-9-27 16:24

地狱里冷热折磨都有。In Dante's Inferno, he describes hell in 9 levels, the 9th being the coldest, as it is the farthest away from God's warmth.

廖康  [评] 2015-9-27 16:45

the coldest place in hell is still hot compared to other 8 levels?Maybe?

Anyway since I don't believe in God, I will accept what you just said for the time being.

Have a wonderful mid-autumn festival !

Xiaoman  [评] 2015-9-27 17:02

It's very cold, ice core, and will freeze your butt off, as Dante describes.

廖康  [评] 2015-9-27 17:12



引用:
Originally posted by 廖康 at 2015-9-27 17:12:
It's very cold, ice core, and will freeze your butt off, as Dante describes.

No way, I don't believe that. Oh well, we should  ask some people who have been there...

Xiaoman  [评] 2015-9-27 17:17

You need to read Dante. It's not standard Christian interpretation, but it is one Christian poet's description, which is very influential. I was just alluding to it. See these pictures:



廖康  [评] 2015-9-27 17:22

又著阴寒冻命根 It's frozen like hell when it goes the other way

It can freeze your butt off when....

命根--用Butt可以吗? 而且省去地狱是否冷或热的疑惑?

Xiaoman  [评] 2015-9-27 17:22

音节多了一个。读过但丁或熟悉西方文化的人应该没有疑惑。见上图。

廖康  [评] 2015-9-27 17:28

但丁讲的未必对。我相信爱因斯坦。我不信它是冰冷的,这个谁也说服不了。,而且而且我也不信它是热的。我相信实踐得来的事实。 嘻嘻,写诗不同,可天马行空。 涉及宗教比较有争议.

Xiaoman  [评] 2015-9-27 17:44



引用:
Originally posted by 廖康 at 2015-9-27 17:28:
音节多了一个。读过但丁或熟悉西方文化的人应该没有疑惑。见上图。

Thanks for the pictures but I am sorry I don't think the proofs are convincing to me, maybe they work to others.

Xiaoman  [评] 2015-9-27 18:13

才承日曝灼皮肉 It's scorched by the relentless sun during the day.
又著阴寒冻命根 It's frozen like hell when it goes the other way.

这是写白天和黑夜的对照吗?

It is scorching hot in the sunlight,
and it can freeze your butt off at night.   ??


(抱歉,不是故意与您抬杆,是因为前几天和一些朋友讨论过地狱到底是热的还是冷的。而且我对双语诗很感兴趣。)

Xiaoman  [评] 2015-9-27 19:06

你可能没有注意到这首英文诗每行12个音节。

有一次听众问Neil Armstrong月亮上的温度如何,他回答:“中和起来还不错啊,白天253度,晚上-387度,平均-67度,有点儿凉飕飕的。”

廖康  [评] 2015-9-27 19:22

是的注意了。但第二句14个音节,是否多两个或少两个都可以呢?


这个温度对比比较吓人,超出了想象,不是能Freeze butt Off  或把鸡蛋烤熟那么简单。

Xiaoman  [评] 2015-9-27 20:04

第二句也是12个音节。

Re‘sem‘bling com‘mu‘nism we used to ad‘vo‘cate.

廖康  [评] 2015-9-27 21:20

如果讲科学,根本没有地狱。如果讲文学,西方文豪没有谁比但丁更详细地描述过地狱。

引用:
Originally posted by Xiaoman at 2015-9-27 10:44 PM:
但丁讲的未必对。我相信爱因斯坦。我不信它是冰冷的,这个谁也说服不了。,而且而且我也不信它是热的。我相信实踐得来的事实。 嘻嘻,写诗不同,可天马行空。 涉及宗教比较有争议.



廖康  [评] 2015-9-27 21:27

原本以为Communism 有四个音节呢,原来得三。 我刚刚出去看了一下月亮,比较吓人,如他们说的血色瑪麗雞尾酒色。

十五月亮半边身,
天显异象必有因。
血色瑪麗雞尾酒,
祝贺实现主义真。
Half the mid-autumn moon has been eaten,
The unusual scene must have a reason.
Bloody Mary cocktail is  what it looks like.  
Congrats! The communism has been realized.

Cheers!

Xiaoman  [评] 2015-9-27 23:25

7律满好玩的。可惜喜欢写的人不多,简直凤毛麟角。 是否玩8,9律了?

Xiaoman  [评] 2015-9-28 15:21

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