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洛城早晨六点半
昨天下午五点整,楼里已经很空了,老板给我来了紧急电邮,要我马上处理一项工程事故。
老板在电邮的最后加了大概四五个感叹号,要我紧急处理。
测试员在我身边烦躁地走来走去,工程是他测试的。他一会儿喊,一会儿怨,一会儿叹气,一会儿生气。
我都当没听见。这种时候,只有我和一个冷静的、忽略一切干扰的我能够帮助我自己和这项工程。
我离开公司的时候是七点半。回到住处大约八点了,饥肠辘辘,可是我只想睡觉,一点胃口都没有。躺了大概四十五分钟,还是起来把晚饭吃了。我知道不吃人会垮。

谢谢同屋及时提醒了我,晚上这里的气温骤降。我添了一条毛毯。哇,真是暖和。也许是因为添了那条毛毯,昨晚不仅睡得特别沉,还做了个意想不到的梦。我梦见乘着一条大船,那船很象我以前买的那个挪亚方舟的形状。我和一些我不是很熟悉的人在那船上,行驶到了澳大利亚。我们的船就在澳大利亚四周的水域里开。我看到了周围离得很近的群山,我居然还从澳洲的大地上拣起了几颗石子,为的是做个纪念。
那梦境真的是只有梦中才有,我从来没有想过或想象过那些景象和经历。不知为什么,不知从哪里,闯进来那些景象?

今天早晨,我五点半起床,六点半,我上了路。是深秋季节了,今早温度只有40度。我也脱下了那件粉色的薄外衣,换上了黑色的绒外衣。 六点半天还很黑。路上我看到早起的人们和我一样开着车往高速路的方向去。我知道,洛城的上班族非常的辛苦。其实其他大城市也都一样。想起了多年前我在南边工作时,每天单程要开五十三个英哩。我五点多钟摸黑上路,到公司时天已经亮了……披星戴月,就是这个意思了。

我知道一年之计在于春,一天之计在于晨。而一切的计划,有赖于一个清新的平和愉快的好心态。我今天似乎没有这样的一个心态来START WITH。一种很深的失望和无望缠绕着我。 生活,不管有多艰苦,只要有一种希望,有一种信仰的支柱,就不怕。要命的事,此时的我似乎两样都在颤动中。

我沉默了整整一个上午,埋头苦做。午饭过后,我走过去告诉新来的网络程序员我昨晚做的梦。我问他有什么解释。他说他相信科学,他说有关梦的解释对他来说大都没有意义。我说,我需要一个解释。他说世界上许多事情都没有解释。
我不信,我相信世界上所有的事情都有解释,就象工程的每一个状况都有原因可以解释一样;只是我们人不一定知道那个解释 (也许不知道,就等于没有?我不知道。)

是的,我需要一个解释,就象我需要一个信仰的支柱,需要一个希望一样。
“也许,”他说,“你心里总是向往着很美好的东西?你的梦让人感觉上满美的。”

我点了点头,说了声谢谢,重新回到了工作座位上。
我需要一个解释,一个至少是诚实的(也许不是真实的)解释。我需要告诉我自己,我不是在自欺欺人。这一切的代价,一切苦劳疲劳,都有它的善的理由,都指向一个光明的希望,都有美好的明天来作为补偿。我需要完全诚实地告诉我自己,神,真的是一直陪伴着我,从来没有,一寸也没有离开过。

今天,我工作了十一个小时。明天还有更多的任务会压过来。而我一直等着的那封信,至今没有来 ……
也许,也许还要再过几个寒冷朦胧的早晨六点半。

有人说,现实主义作品就是好,因为它让人清醒,让人知道这个世界无非就是如此这般,甚至还很丑恶。我不这么想。现实主义的东西是让我清醒,但是它从来给不了我光明和力量。我需要那光明和力量 --- 光明有如太阳和星星一般真实辉煌 --- 和我一同走过这一路风霜,一同度过这数不尽的清晨六点半。


2009-10-29 晚
万兰溪崖

19 评论



引用:
Originally posted by 虔谦 at 2009-10-31 12:33 AM:
昨天下午五点整,楼里已经很空了,老板给我来了紧急电邮,要我马上处理一项工程事故。
老板在电邮的最后加了大概四五个感叹号,要我紧急处理。
测试员在我身边烦躁地走来走去,工程是他测试的。他一会儿喊,一会..

问好虔谦,再读你的文。

冬雪儿  [评] 2009-10-30 19:38

“我需要那光明和力量 --- 光明有如太阳和星星一般真实辉煌 --- 和我一同走过这一路风霜,一同度过这数不尽的清晨六点半。”——虔谦,你这文把我的眼睛都看湿了。

冬雪儿  [评] 2009-10-30 19:44



引用:
Originally posted by 冬雪儿 at 2009-10-31 12:44 AM:
“我需要那光明和力量 --- 光明有如太阳和星星一般真实辉煌 --- 和我一同走过这一路风霜,一同度过这数不尽的清晨六点半。”——虔谦,你这文把我的眼睛都看湿了。

谢谢你雪儿,我读你的评论心里也有这感动。我在一个很特别的公司工作,处在一个很特别的时期,一切的工程都是一场恶战。感谢我的神,让我有机会经历这些并能够写出来和朋友、读者、弟兄姐妹分享。
明天我还去上班。祝你周末愉快!

虔谦  [评] 2009-10-30 20:26

“我知道,洛城的上班族非常的辛苦。其实其他大城市也都一样。想起了多年前我在南边工作时,每天单程要开五十三个英哩。我五点多钟摸黑上路,到公司时天已经亮了……披星戴月,就是这个意思了。”

同感,这里天天下着雨,每天五点多就开车上高速,开车看不见路,只看见前面汽车卷起的水雾和尾灯,全神贯注,不能有一秒钟的失误~~~~

youming  [评] 2009-10-30 21:14



引用:
Originally posted by youming at 2009-10-31 02:14 AM:
“我知道,洛城的上班族非常的辛苦。其实其他大城市也都一样。想起了多年前我在南边工作时,每天单程要开五十三个英哩。我五点多钟摸黑上路,到公司时天已经亮了……披星戴月,就是这个意思了。”

同感,这里天..

看来友明大哥深有体会。我要把我开车的某些情形告诉你,也许会吓你几大跳。。。
问候友明,周末好!: )

虔谦  [评] 2009-10-30 21:42



引用:
Originally posted by 虔谦 at 2009-10-31 02:42 AM:


看来友明大哥深有体会。我要把我开车的某些情形告诉你,也许会吓你几大跳。。。
问候友明,周末好!: )

加州好在少雨,西雅图是除了夏天都是阴雨天,你在小路上开车是小雨,到高速就是中大雨,车速快,雨就大,我也搞不懂其中的道理,没有人喜欢开车,又不得不要天天开车.....

youming  [评] 2009-10-30 21:55



引用:
我梦见乘着一条大船,那船很象我以前买的那个挪亚方舟的形状。我和一些我不是很熟悉的人在那船上,行驶到了澳大利亚。我们的船就在澳大利亚四周的水域里开。我看到了周围离得很近的群山,我居然还从澳洲的大地上拣起了几颗石子,为的是做个纪念。

那梦境真的是只有梦中才有,我从来没有想过或想象过那些景象和经历。不知为什么,不知从哪里,闯进来那些景象?

Qianqian,

I would dare to offer you an understanding. Dreams and visions are very common to me. They have shaped my life in a certain way.

I would share these points with you:

1. You life won't be the same in the coming days. Great changes is on the way. People sent by God would come into your life. The result would be your spiritual life will change drastically. The change, in essence, would be one from an intellectual approach unto God to a spiritual one.

In another word, a great spiritual as well as natural shaking is on your way. The ark represents his deliverance unto you. But you have to come into the ark. This you need to take heed. I suspect you will have to let go of your church or fellowship you presently involved. If indeed it is a church only teaching intellectual stuff, you need to shut it down asap. It won't help you in the days to come.

The life of God is not by words, but by power.  

2. This dream speaks a move (physical) would happen to you. It does not necessarily have to be Australia, rather, I suspect, a desired place or position that God has put in your heart. I think God has heard your prayer of your not being happy with your present job. Evidently, He will transfer you to another one. Now, in order to seal this as a testimony for you. I would dare to say, this will happen very soon after you changed your circle of fellowship. The stones are your own family members. It signifies a old season being closed and a new season is dawning ...  

3. If you have time, do a word study of "dream" in the Bible. See how God used dreams to speak to Joseph, Daniel, Joseph father of Jesus. Also recorded in Num and Job, are clear evidences from God's own words (not recorded words) about His revealing of His will to His people using dreams and visions.

"I have spoken boldly to you on some points." Now, rise up in great confidence, for He hears you and knows you. Be not troubled by the world. Rid of the world and press into heavenly things...

Be blessed, my sister.
Love

Immanuel  [评] 2009-10-31 04:40

楼主,能说说万兰溪崖吗。

xzhao2  [评] 2009-10-31 13:12



引用:
Originally posted by youming at 2009-10-31 02:55 AM:


加州好在少雨,西雅图是除了夏天都是阴雨天,你在小路上开车是小雨,到高速就是中大雨,车速快,雨就大,我也搞不懂其中的道理,没有人喜欢开车,又不得不要天天开车.....

同感。白天还好,晚间高速雨路真是个挑战。
谢谢友明大哥,希望能常得到你的支持。

虔谦  [评] 2009-10-31 19:58



引用:
Originally posted by xzhao2 at 2009-10-31 06:12 PM:
楼主,能说说万兰溪崖吗。

谢谢主持。是我工作及寄宿的地方。蛮有野气,我特别喜欢它的日出和日落时分。

虔谦  [评] 2009-10-31 20:00



引用:
Originally posted by Immanuel at 2009-10-31 09:40 AM:


Qianqian,

I would dare to offer you an understanding. Dreams and visions are very common to me. They have shaped my life in a certain way.

I would share these points with you:

1. You l..

Dear Immanuel

Thank you very much for caring and communication on such a level and depth.  

Actually I am very spiritual (I would love to discuss more a little later). But my life is helplessly getting more and more physical and personal and I think people probably all do as long as people still live on this planet.
I cannot help to share a comment from a former friend and that also from some perspective describes my life:

Faith is like love, you have to be romantic in order to enjoy love, by the same token, you have to be romantic in order to enjoy faith. I think that is exactly why God plants the seeds of love in our hearts. That's awesome.
My definition: if something is unworldly, it is probably romantic. Therefore, romance is the opposite of the world. But they don't fight against each other, rather they live in harmony. Being romantic helps you to walk your life in this world, walking your life in this world helps you to long for romance.


Yes I have been praying a lot.  But I do totally put the answers onto God’s hand and trying always to be positive. Sometimes I would cry out loud but I make sure to be sincere and ask God to strengthen my faith and let me see His truth. I know that it’s all about God, not me but sometime I do struggle to understand some points.

And yes I always want a change; some kind of change that may not totally agree with the ones you stated here. But I thank you for writing down so many for me; I thank you for sharing that much; I have been thinking of what you have described. I would love to discuss as well later on.

As for what you said “The life of God is not by words, but by power”, I am not quite sure what you mean by saying that but I do have a question, what is your understanding of the following:

In the beginning was Word,
And the Word was with God,
And the Word was God.
He was with God in the beginning.
(Gospel John 1:1-2)

Thank you again and have a good one!
qq

虔谦  [评] 2009-10-31 21:15



引用:
Originally posted by Immanuel at 2009-10-31 09:40 AM:
3. If you have time, do a word study of "dream" in the Bible. See how God used dreams to speak to Joseph, Daniel, Joseph father of Jesus. Also recorded in Num and Job, are clear evidences from God's own words (not recorded words) about His revealing of His will to His people using dreams and visions.

谢谢你兄弟。但以理书我读过,就是没有那么仔细。谢谢,Make sense. Will do. qq 又及。

虔谦  [评] 2009-10-31 21:38



引用:
Originally posted by Immanuel at 2009-10-31 09:40 AM:
"I have spoken boldly to you on some points." Now, rise up in great confidence, for He hears you and knows you. Be not troubled by the world. Rid of the world and press into heavenly things...

Thank you brother. I will try my best .... QQ 再及。

虔谦  [评] 2009-10-31 21:40

Sis,

I just prayed for you, the Lord gave me Psm 56. for you to read.

Now, as the matter is about your life in the Lord, I will have to be plain and honest with you.

1. I do know you have to be spiritual, or esle, I won't talk to you of such things.

2. Romantic love is not Godly love, sometime, or most of the time, they run against each other. Godly love is very practical and is to be endowed with the power from on high. Romantic love is most of the time earthly and sensual, having nothing to do with the wisdom from above. I am not to refute your dear friend, I am to state a point that faith is not wishy-washy, but is solid and perculiar-it is the hope of glory, even Christ in us.

3. Now, about the "word". I refered to 1 Cor 2. and other portions of the scripture, where Paul stated that he preached the Gospel with God's power, not by human wisdom.

Be encouraged! He would not have given you such a dream if He had not heard you and cared for you. He whose name is faithful will continue to do so.

"Through much affliction, we enter into the Kingdom of God." Know that when you suffer in the dark hours of your soul, you most certainly are being disciplined by the Heavenly Father as His beloved son. Be richly blessed!

Love and Respect
Immanuel

Immanuel  [评] 2009-11-1 00:45

QQ about your question:

The Word is the Spirit of Sonship, or the Anoiting, which is Christ. Jesus and the disciples named it as "the Gospel". Now, it could not be understood as a doctrinal agreement  nor it demands a mere intellectual consent. It has to be believed as a pattern of life, practical and experiential.

Man was created in God's image and likeness. Christ Jesus, the last Adam, forfeited His royalty and came down to became a mortal man, through His life of perfect obedience, openned a living and free way for those who believe Him to receive a life which comes from above.

But this indeed is foolishness to men, who think they are wise and know everything. Only those who are able to humble themselves before the mighty hand of God, who are predestined to be called, are able to have their eyes opened and receive this "word" and have it planted in their heart. There is no other way. Going to church or follow a ritualistic life would not serve any good in light of this life, even life eternal.

I remember once I was caught in Heaven and was shown my substance and form as described by David in Psm 139. It was a very intriguing experiece, for years I did not undertstand it, only much later, my eyes and understanding were opened and I began to live more and more in a life of a different power, a power not of my own, but by His spirit.

Now we are a new creation. Indeed!

Immanuel  [评] 2009-11-1 01:06

Dear Immanuel, 谢谢你!

“I just prayed for you, the Lord gave me Psm 56. for you to read.”

感谢,感谢为我祷告!我读了。Yes, i cannot live through a day without Him.

“1. I do know you have to be spiritual, or esle, I won't talk to you of such things. ”

我知道你知道

“2. Romantic love is not Godly love, sometime, or most of the time, they run against each other. Godly love is very practical and is to be endowed with the power from on high. Romantic love is most of the time earthly and sensual, having nothing to do with the wisdom from above. I am not to refute your dear friend, I am to state a point that faith is not wishy-washy, but is solid and perculiar-it is the hope of glory, even Christ in us. ”

嗯,也许这里有些理解上的误差误会一类。

“3. Now, about the "word". I refered to 1 Cor 2. and other portions of the scripture, where Paul stated that he preached the Gospel with God's power, not by human wisdom.”

哦,是这样。谢谢解释。

“Be encouraged! He would not have given you such a dream if He had not heard you and cared for you. He whose name is faithful will continue to do so.

"Through much affliction, we enter into the Kingdom of God." Know that when you suffer in the dark hours of your soul, you most certainly are being disciplined by the Heavenly Father as His beloved son. Be richly blessed!

Love and Respect
Immanuel


感谢兄弟!感谢激励! Make lots sense.  我这里顺便附我写过的一篇文章:(请留意一下那两行英文字)


** 蓦然回首, 天堂却在, 灯火阑姗处

虔谦注: 本文仅仅是个人的心路感触和自勉, 不能推而广之, 因为, 每个人有每个人不同的 “灯火阑姗处”.

曾经对文学, 艺术, 哲学, 历史…都有兴趣.  
曾经觉得自己很轻浮, 就喜欢当演员, 当作家, 出风头. 结果是, 演员, 作家都没当成.  
这几天参观了文学城若干比较纯文学艺术的博客, 反观自己, 自己象什么呢?  非文学, 非哲学, 非宗教…简直四不象一只.

呆眼朋友送过我一幅他拍的白牡丹 (见图).  我知道他拍过不少花卉, 都十分的精致, 艺术感很强. 这幅, 我反复的看, 觉得风格大不相同, 没有呆霸王其他作品的那种艺术精致.  沉思中恍然大悟: QQ 就是如此啊. 没有了文学, 艺术, 哲学, 宗教, 甚至外貌的精致, 也没有了纯学科的华冠….自己, 曾经是中国最高学府精致毕业的学生, 不知怎的就变成了 自称的 “山野虔谦”.

不敢说这是神的安排. 从不敢妄猜神意, 但是从心底感到, 心, 有一种激情的推动; 命, 有一条轨迹被牵引.

我以 “山野” 为荣.
毕竟, 再深沉的哲学, 都属于人世的喧哗.

在斯坦福大学一座大教堂里看到一个quote, 再也忘不了:

It is through suffering that God most nearly approached man.
It is through suffering the man draws most nearly to God.

这种 suffering, 在神那里是什么呢? 我的理解, 就是神选择了通过下凡做人的种种苦难来接近人类. 这 suffering 的巅峰, 就是神十字架上的受难….当神蓦然回首, 我想, 祂看到的是人类信的觉醒.

这种suffering, 在人这里是什么呢? 我的理解, 就是对人世许多东西的不断舍去而得到一种接近神的式样: 舍去欲望, 舍去追逐, 舍去喧哗, 舍去荣耀, 甚至, 舍去精致…..

人世里只有一种景观, 让我联想到天堂: 昆仑山滴淌的冰雪, 和依偎着它的小花….

大概, 天堂里, 只有单纯, 只有原始, 只有爱, 只有和谐.  那一切, 是我心所倾所爱, 是她的激情所在.

经历清晰的拥有, 茫然的失落, 经历撕裂分离, 经历执着, 经历听由 …… 正wondering 自己究竟在何方 -----   
蓦然回首,  灯火阑姗处, 美丽的天堂.

In love, faith and beauty,  may my heart walk.

从心底感谢呆眼的天然白牡丹图!


***



谢谢你的第二个回复,改次细论。

基本上,简单地说,简单地活,约翰福音第三章第十六节是我信仰的主轴:

神爱世人,甚至把他的独生子赐给他们,叫一切信他的,不至灭亡,反得永生。
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.


再谢兄弟,主日快乐! 感谢赞美神!

虔谦  [评] 2009-11-1 10:24

Be blessed, sis....

Immanuel  [评] 2009-11-1 14:19

“2. Romantic love is not Godly love, sometime, or most of the time, they run against each other. Godly love is very practical and is to be endowed with the power from on high. Romantic love is most of the time earthly and sensual, having nothing to do with the wisdom from above. I am not to refute your dear friend, I am to state a point that faith is not wishy-washy, but is solid and perculiar-it is the hope of glory, even Christ in us. ”


Immanuel 兄弟,才想起来,《圣经。雅歌》你肯定比我熟的,里头有许多片段很有身体的亲热味呢。


“"Through much affliction, we enter into the Kingdom of God." Know that when you suffer in the dark hours of your soul, you most certainly are being disciplined by the Heavenly Father as His beloved son. Be richly blessed!”

我不禁想起摩西在《出埃及》记里对以色列人的教诲:记住你们的主管教你们,有如你们的父母管教你们那样。那些片段,非常警醒和感人。以前在文学城网友博客里听到过《出埃及》的音乐,超级雄伟好听,可惜后来就听不到了。
兄弟,谢谢你,能让天父管教应该是很荣幸的事呢。

这些话,一下子说不完全也说不好。 我们最好还是PULL THIS OFF LINE。 My email: qianqianwxc@gmail.com

对了,你的英语行云流水怎么学得这般好呀?我羡慕了老半天。看现在的架势,我那不成器的英语明天也难有起色。

新一周好!

虔谦  [评] 2009-11-1 18:40

You are right. I believe it was Watchman Nee who wrote a book titled as "The Divine Romance" or something, which certainly isn't the Hollywood kind. I am sorry I misunderstood you and your friend.

I did send an email to you in my shabby English.

Immanuel  [评] 2009-11-1 18:58

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